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My Wife Knows About My Boyfriend

Written by Max, on 07-10-2009

Manage a trois

Dear Max, I am 42 years old and in my second marriage, I've come to realize that I'm bi and possibly gay. I've had a few sexual encounters over the years and now have a long distance boyfriend for the past 6 months that I see about once a month.

I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin because I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I should throw away my current life and everything I have to lead a gay life or if I should try to ignore my urges. My wife knows about my boyfriend and insists that I quit calling him. What should I do with my life? How do I know what to do?

ANSWER:
You probably know deep inside what you need to do, but you are afraid to do so. You know how much pain you are causing, but yet are afraid to make a decision because you are afraid to make the wrong one. So what to do? Keep your wife or your boyfriend?

What you need to do is to find out who you really are. Who is going to make you happy and complete? Your wife? Your boyfriend? Women? Men? It is very easy to find sex, but very hard to find love. Anyone can sleep around, but it takes a strong person to be faithful.

The key is to be happy with yourself and to find the right partner for you. Life is full of decisions. Humans learn by their mistakes. So don't be afraid and take control of your life. Only you know what makes you happy.

Good luck!

Last update: 07-10-2009

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Posted by Bill, on 07-15-2009,

1. Gay husband

I'm married, out to my wife for 13 years now, and actively involved with a young guy; my wife loves me enough to want me to be fulfilled sexually. I often socialize with both of them (they've become friends) and have even vacationed with both. So much is possible when people make their choices with love and reason.

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Posted by Bill, on 07-15-2009,

2. Gay husband

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