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I Feel Like I'm His Possession

Written by Max, on 05-18-2009

Sad man

I am 25. I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 years and he is now 51. Our relationship is very difficult. We don't communicate very well, sex is almost non-existent, and I feel too often as if I am a possession. He is not my sugar daddy, he has never paid a bill of mine. I am a full time student, I work full time and I'm a member of the National Guard. When I left my wife to pursue this relationship I always hoped that our relationship would be similar to what I had with her. Laughing, spending time together, long talks, similar interests, and two people working towards one goal. But I was mistaken. We seem to only be roommates in a home owned by his ex-boyfriend. I don't know what exactly I am asking, I just thought you would have some advice on the subject. I feel like it's a relationship of convenience right now, not of love or respect.

ANSWER:
It seems to me that you already know what to do. I don't have anything against dating older people, but 30 years is quite a big difference. Even though the age difference is not affecting you, it seems to me that it could be a factor in your relationship. You are right when you say it's a relationship of convenience. Relationships are supposed to be fun, warming, and nurturing. You are supposed to laugh together, have similar interests and work towards one goal. You know that and you know there is someone wrong in your relationship. So do yourself a favor... stop wasting your own time and your boyfriend's time and talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Work something out with him to fix it, or break up. Like I always tell people, you only live once. Why not be happy?

Last update: 05-18-2009

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