spreadeagle
August 13th, 2004, 08:53 PM
Hey Buddy
I guess someone has to tell you if Max won’t: Yes! You are watching way too much porn! You know this on one level already because you describe yourself as being ‘obsessed’ with it. The fact that your boyfriend has left you indicates that your porn-watching has reached a level where it interferes with your everyday functioning and this bothers you or you wouldn’t be asking for advice.
I suggest you go ‘cold turkey’ and stop watching porn altogether. The reason for this approach is that you’ll quickly realise the strength of your desire to watch. If you can’t get through the first day without breaking your resolution then you’re probably dealing with an addiction and might benefit from professional help. On the other hand, it could just be a habit that you’ve come to rely on for relaxation and stimulation. If you’ve been jacking when you watch then you’re probably associating the erotic high of cumming with the visual stimulus of the porno imagery. That’s the cycle you need to break.
It takes about three weeks of continual application to replace an old habit with a new behaviour. It’s important that you set up fun, stimulating, exciting activities to occupy the time in which you would usually be watching porn. If you used to always watch porn at specific times of the day or night then those are the times when your resistance will be at it’s lowest. If you’re just sitting there chewing your nails and thinking ‘Fuck it! I wanna watch porn!’ then your chances of success will be limited.
If you take this opportunity to notice the sorts of thoughts and feelings that come up while you are ‘fasting’ from porn then you can gain insights into your own beliefs about your sexuality, body image and the power dynamics of sexual relationships. You can think about the subtle messages that porn contains and consider how relevant they might be to your life as a gay man.
I don’t know how far your relationship with your boyfriend has deteriorated. One possibility might be to explain to him what you’re doing and ask for his support. Try substituting real love-making for the artificial stimulation of porn. When you’re making love with your boyfriend keep your eyes open and focussed on him to prevent yourself from running old movies in your head.
Let’s face it mate, the vast majority of the men we meet in a lifetime of fucking will never be as tanned, buff, hung or gorgeous as your average porn star. Instead they’ll be responsive and funny and they’ll smell good; they’ll be different every moment, they’ll want you and they’ll be real. Your fist will really tighten around those hard hot dicks; your cum will really splatter on their chests; and when they pull you close in the afterglow only you will hear the love they whisper in your ear. It’s your choice, buddy.
Love
Spread
I guess someone has to tell you if Max won’t: Yes! You are watching way too much porn! You know this on one level already because you describe yourself as being ‘obsessed’ with it. The fact that your boyfriend has left you indicates that your porn-watching has reached a level where it interferes with your everyday functioning and this bothers you or you wouldn’t be asking for advice.
I suggest you go ‘cold turkey’ and stop watching porn altogether. The reason for this approach is that you’ll quickly realise the strength of your desire to watch. If you can’t get through the first day without breaking your resolution then you’re probably dealing with an addiction and might benefit from professional help. On the other hand, it could just be a habit that you’ve come to rely on for relaxation and stimulation. If you’ve been jacking when you watch then you’re probably associating the erotic high of cumming with the visual stimulus of the porno imagery. That’s the cycle you need to break.
It takes about three weeks of continual application to replace an old habit with a new behaviour. It’s important that you set up fun, stimulating, exciting activities to occupy the time in which you would usually be watching porn. If you used to always watch porn at specific times of the day or night then those are the times when your resistance will be at it’s lowest. If you’re just sitting there chewing your nails and thinking ‘Fuck it! I wanna watch porn!’ then your chances of success will be limited.
If you take this opportunity to notice the sorts of thoughts and feelings that come up while you are ‘fasting’ from porn then you can gain insights into your own beliefs about your sexuality, body image and the power dynamics of sexual relationships. You can think about the subtle messages that porn contains and consider how relevant they might be to your life as a gay man.
I don’t know how far your relationship with your boyfriend has deteriorated. One possibility might be to explain to him what you’re doing and ask for his support. Try substituting real love-making for the artificial stimulation of porn. When you’re making love with your boyfriend keep your eyes open and focussed on him to prevent yourself from running old movies in your head.
Let’s face it mate, the vast majority of the men we meet in a lifetime of fucking will never be as tanned, buff, hung or gorgeous as your average porn star. Instead they’ll be responsive and funny and they’ll smell good; they’ll be different every moment, they’ll want you and they’ll be real. Your fist will really tighten around those hard hot dicks; your cum will really splatter on their chests; and when they pull you close in the afterglow only you will hear the love they whisper in your ear. It’s your choice, buddy.
Love
Spread