spreadeagle
June 26th, 2004, 07:01 AM
Hey Vinod!
Good to hear from you, mate.
From the little I know of India I understand it's not a country that's especially supportive of homosexuality. Therefore you need to be circumspect in the way you interpret, or return, the glances of other men.
In your pictures you look handsome and inoffensive but it's impossible to assess from mugshots like these how you present in person. There are ways of dressing and walking that are highly inflammatory and that might indeed cause men to stare. On the other hand, cool clothes and a confident manner will also attract the attention of other guys, including the envy and admiration of straight men.
Growing-up gay in a conservative culture presents a challenge for those who are keen to establish contact, especially sexual contact, with other gaymen. The places where men meet for rapid furtive encounters vary little from country to country: particular bars, public toilets, changing rooms, railway stations, docks, the parks and beaches at night. While anonymous sex in these venues can be thrilling it is not without its dangers; perhaps these account for part of the attraction.
If you want more sustained and satisfying connections a different approach is required. Talk to guys who show an interest in you as if sex was not your top priority. By changing your expectations you take the pressure off yourself, and off him too. Don't be stand-offish, simply be open and friendly and focus on discovering common ground. By doing this you establish a basis of trust that facilitates greater intimacy later on. If it doesn't work out you've still widened your circle of friends and honed the life-skills you need for inter-personal relationships. Remember, even the spunkiest dude in India will eventually bore you rigid if you have nothing in common. After all ,you're not going to be bonking 24/7. Are you?
Cheers, Vinod
Just be the best you you can be, buddy.
Spread
Good to hear from you, mate.
From the little I know of India I understand it's not a country that's especially supportive of homosexuality. Therefore you need to be circumspect in the way you interpret, or return, the glances of other men.
In your pictures you look handsome and inoffensive but it's impossible to assess from mugshots like these how you present in person. There are ways of dressing and walking that are highly inflammatory and that might indeed cause men to stare. On the other hand, cool clothes and a confident manner will also attract the attention of other guys, including the envy and admiration of straight men.
Growing-up gay in a conservative culture presents a challenge for those who are keen to establish contact, especially sexual contact, with other gaymen. The places where men meet for rapid furtive encounters vary little from country to country: particular bars, public toilets, changing rooms, railway stations, docks, the parks and beaches at night. While anonymous sex in these venues can be thrilling it is not without its dangers; perhaps these account for part of the attraction.
If you want more sustained and satisfying connections a different approach is required. Talk to guys who show an interest in you as if sex was not your top priority. By changing your expectations you take the pressure off yourself, and off him too. Don't be stand-offish, simply be open and friendly and focus on discovering common ground. By doing this you establish a basis of trust that facilitates greater intimacy later on. If it doesn't work out you've still widened your circle of friends and honed the life-skills you need for inter-personal relationships. Remember, even the spunkiest dude in India will eventually bore you rigid if you have nothing in common. After all ,you're not going to be bonking 24/7. Are you?
Cheers, Vinod
Just be the best you you can be, buddy.
Spread