spreadeagle
April 9th, 2004, 06:18 AM
You’ve created this uncertainty yourself. If you’ve fallen in love with him I guess you’re close enough to see him. If you’re close enough to see him then you’re close enough to speak to him. So why did you email? Just stop and think, and try and put yourself into his shoes for a moment - this used to be called ‘manners’.
A declaration of love from a stranger confers no obligation to return that feeling. Not everyone will react positively to an email that demands: Are you gay? Do you love me?
Has he even read your emails? Did he think they were spam? Is he desperately in love but too shy to answer? Is he a homophobe waiting for the chance to wring your neck? You’re none the wiser.
Using email has placed you in a weak position. You’ve stated the strength of your feelings, but at the same time you’ve shown that you’re too scared, or too lazy, to speak to him face to face. This is unlikely to encourage him to reciprocate your feelings because it suggests that you haven’t got the courage to ‘walk your talk’.
If you really need to know, then ask him in person. By approaching him and speaking to him you’ll find out quickly and unequivocally. It might be scary and painful, but all relationships involve risk. If you take the initiative and are rebuffed, then at least you can recover and move on more quickly than if you hang around waiting for him to make the next move. You might even learn something in the process.
As much as we might wish it, not everyone is gay. Nor is life a movie where you glance at him, his eyes meet yours, and he’s head-over-heels in love. If a guy looks and behaves ‘straight’ then in all likelihood he is. Some of us make a habit of always falling for unavailable guys so we can avoid ever having to feel or to express ourselves sexually.
Stand proud!
Spread
A declaration of love from a stranger confers no obligation to return that feeling. Not everyone will react positively to an email that demands: Are you gay? Do you love me?
Has he even read your emails? Did he think they were spam? Is he desperately in love but too shy to answer? Is he a homophobe waiting for the chance to wring your neck? You’re none the wiser.
Using email has placed you in a weak position. You’ve stated the strength of your feelings, but at the same time you’ve shown that you’re too scared, or too lazy, to speak to him face to face. This is unlikely to encourage him to reciprocate your feelings because it suggests that you haven’t got the courage to ‘walk your talk’.
If you really need to know, then ask him in person. By approaching him and speaking to him you’ll find out quickly and unequivocally. It might be scary and painful, but all relationships involve risk. If you take the initiative and are rebuffed, then at least you can recover and move on more quickly than if you hang around waiting for him to make the next move. You might even learn something in the process.
As much as we might wish it, not everyone is gay. Nor is life a movie where you glance at him, his eyes meet yours, and he’s head-over-heels in love. If a guy looks and behaves ‘straight’ then in all likelihood he is. Some of us make a habit of always falling for unavailable guys so we can avoid ever having to feel or to express ourselves sexually.
Stand proud!
Spread