spreadeagle
March 3rd, 2004, 04:33 AM
This must be an anxious time for both of you but let’s take it step by step.
Firstly, get clear that enjoying anal pleasure doesn’t make your husband gay. The anus has a vast number of nerve endings that respond to stimulation; men have a prostate (women don’t) and blissful sensations are experienced when it is massaged.
You might consider buying a slender sex toy such as a ‘crystal wand’ designed for prostate stimulation so that he can enjoy anal pleasure without the connotation of penile penetration that is often associated with a dildo. Reading a sensible guide like ‘Anal Pleasure and Health’, by Jack Morin, Ph.D., could help reassure you that anal enjoyment is quite normal and commonplace. However, if he enjoys using a dildo it is important that he gets one of his own. In the throes of love-making it can be difficult to be scrupulously hygienic and any movement of the dildo from the anus to the vagina is a ‘no-no’.
Include anal exploration in your mutual love-making rather than letting it become a solitary indulgence for him. You might want to investigate anal pleasure too; studies have shown that women often orgasm more easily through anal intercourse than men do. Establishing anal play as an accepted part of your repertoire will help clarify if his motivation is curiosity and pleasure or whether there is a stronger emotional imperative at work. If you think there is, then it might be time to try a threesome again. A man’s pleasure in kissing another man is often a stronger indication of his sexual nature than if he enjoys anal intercourse.
There is another issue here, that of commitment. Most married people continue to be sexually attracted to people other than their spouse. Part of being married is making the choice not to act on those instinctive impulses. So to some extent the gender of the third party is irrelevant.
I admire your honesty and openness in sexual matters and I wish you well.
Cheers
Spread
Firstly, get clear that enjoying anal pleasure doesn’t make your husband gay. The anus has a vast number of nerve endings that respond to stimulation; men have a prostate (women don’t) and blissful sensations are experienced when it is massaged.
You might consider buying a slender sex toy such as a ‘crystal wand’ designed for prostate stimulation so that he can enjoy anal pleasure without the connotation of penile penetration that is often associated with a dildo. Reading a sensible guide like ‘Anal Pleasure and Health’, by Jack Morin, Ph.D., could help reassure you that anal enjoyment is quite normal and commonplace. However, if he enjoys using a dildo it is important that he gets one of his own. In the throes of love-making it can be difficult to be scrupulously hygienic and any movement of the dildo from the anus to the vagina is a ‘no-no’.
Include anal exploration in your mutual love-making rather than letting it become a solitary indulgence for him. You might want to investigate anal pleasure too; studies have shown that women often orgasm more easily through anal intercourse than men do. Establishing anal play as an accepted part of your repertoire will help clarify if his motivation is curiosity and pleasure or whether there is a stronger emotional imperative at work. If you think there is, then it might be time to try a threesome again. A man’s pleasure in kissing another man is often a stronger indication of his sexual nature than if he enjoys anal intercourse.
There is another issue here, that of commitment. Most married people continue to be sexually attracted to people other than their spouse. Part of being married is making the choice not to act on those instinctive impulses. So to some extent the gender of the third party is irrelevant.
I admire your honesty and openness in sexual matters and I wish you well.
Cheers
Spread