spreadeagle
February 4th, 2004, 03:49 PM
Mate,
People repeat patterns in their lives and continue to do so unless they stop and take a long hard look at what's motivating them. This guy had been unfaithful during his marriage and continued to be unfaithful once he was in a marriage-like relationship with you. Don't blame yourself; you've shown a wonderful capacity to give love.
In order to move on, though, it would be worthwhile examining your own attachment to the idea of Romantic Love. This is hard because we are spoon-fed Romance from childhood. Being gay gives us no immunity from the idea that there is some tall-dark-handsome Prince Charming about to ride up and take us away from all this. Are you ready for the truth? There is no Mister Right. There is only Mister Potential. You only discover he was Mister Right when you can look back on a good working relationship that you've survived together. And a relationship doesn't have to last a lifetime for it to be wondefully fulfilling.
Use this healing time to review your own unique strengths and abilities. You cannot make your happiness dependent on another person; it is your sole/soul responsibility. You are never going to get back with your ex, and every day you spend obsessing over him is a day when you are closed to the arrival of new love from unexpected quarters. You see, I'm not anti-romantic after all! Don't let one rotten egg put you off cock for life.
All the best mate,
Spread.
People repeat patterns in their lives and continue to do so unless they stop and take a long hard look at what's motivating them. This guy had been unfaithful during his marriage and continued to be unfaithful once he was in a marriage-like relationship with you. Don't blame yourself; you've shown a wonderful capacity to give love.
In order to move on, though, it would be worthwhile examining your own attachment to the idea of Romantic Love. This is hard because we are spoon-fed Romance from childhood. Being gay gives us no immunity from the idea that there is some tall-dark-handsome Prince Charming about to ride up and take us away from all this. Are you ready for the truth? There is no Mister Right. There is only Mister Potential. You only discover he was Mister Right when you can look back on a good working relationship that you've survived together. And a relationship doesn't have to last a lifetime for it to be wondefully fulfilling.
Use this healing time to review your own unique strengths and abilities. You cannot make your happiness dependent on another person; it is your sole/soul responsibility. You are never going to get back with your ex, and every day you spend obsessing over him is a day when you are closed to the arrival of new love from unexpected quarters. You see, I'm not anti-romantic after all! Don't let one rotten egg put you off cock for life.
All the best mate,
Spread.