spreadeagle
January 28th, 2004, 01:30 PM
Forgiveness is the appropriate response. After all, the younger guy only repeated your behaviour of 20 years earlier when he began to experiment outside the pre-existing relationship, though he demonstrated somewhat more integrity by announcing his intention beforehand. You were forgiven at the time of your indiscretion and there have been 20 settled years since then, which is remarkable.
However, having said that, and assuming that your menage has been sexually active and monogamous for the past 20 years, you would be wise to ensure that the HIV status and general venereal health of the prodigal son is checked before simply slipping back into old patterns.
It interests me that this man, at 40, has never lived an independent life, possibly he is incapable of doing so. Was there anything specific, then, that made him so restless a year ago?
I think you under-rate yourself; the three of you have been living a fully-functioning gay life for the past 20 years; he needs to realise that and so do you.
There's the opportunity here to make the relationship even stronger, but don't expect it to be as it was before - comparisons are odious. Take each day as it comes without agonising over it and once a week take a little time out to review how things are going.
Best of luck, Mate.
However, having said that, and assuming that your menage has been sexually active and monogamous for the past 20 years, you would be wise to ensure that the HIV status and general venereal health of the prodigal son is checked before simply slipping back into old patterns.
It interests me that this man, at 40, has never lived an independent life, possibly he is incapable of doing so. Was there anything specific, then, that made him so restless a year ago?
I think you under-rate yourself; the three of you have been living a fully-functioning gay life for the past 20 years; he needs to realise that and so do you.
There's the opportunity here to make the relationship even stronger, but don't expect it to be as it was before - comparisons are odious. Take each day as it comes without agonising over it and once a week take a little time out to review how things are going.
Best of luck, Mate.