Does anal sex hurt the first time?

[spreadeagle]

I'd like to take issue with Max's comments that anal sex hurts the first time. Max doesn't distinguish between anal sex and anal intercourse.
Solitary anal sex engaged in for purposes of exploration or pleasure should never hurt. If you are hurting yourself you're doing something wrong.
Anal intercourse (penetration with 2 or more partners) can be excruciatingly painful but it need not be. To state bluntly that it will hurt is unhelpful scaremongering. The difficulty as I see it is that guys are learning how to fuck by mimicking the sex portrayed on porno videos where speed and pounding and massive dicks seem to be the focus; this bears little relation to reality. With sufficient preparation and mutual respect and affection there is absolutely no reason why first time anal intercourse should hurt. It's not about power and control; it's about sharing pleasure. If he's hurting you he's doing something wrong and you are complicit in it.

[Unregistered]

My first time as a bottom did not really hurt, it was just very uncomfortable. I felt "full" down there, like I REALLY needed to go to the restroom. My partner just kept reminding me that it was ok, and that I really didn't need to "go". After the first few minutes the feeling subsided and the pleasure set in, and OH was it pleasure. This "full feeling" happened only the first two or three times. There are times when it is slightly painful if I am particularly tight or if he hits a different angle than normal.

[curiousguy]

Thanks guys. I too am a very curious guy, and can't wait for my first time with another guy as a 'bottom'. I know condoms and lubricant are important, but what else must I remember to make sure my first time isn't painful?

[spreadeagle]

Thanks guys. I too am a very curious guy, and can't wait for my first time with another guy as a 'bottom'. I know condoms and lubricant are important, but what else must I remember to make sure my first time isn't painful?

G'day mate,
Different strokes for different folks of course, but I've always regarded notions of 'top' and 'bottom' as somewhat suspect because of the inherent suggestion of rigidly defined roles. This risks limiting the freedom that's needed if you're to be really responsive in your lovemaking.

Apart from the reciprocal trust and respect and the need to take your time there's something else you can do to help ensure that your first sessions of anal penetration are enjoyable: put your bottom on top.

Have your partner lie on his back while you kneel astride him face-to-face. By kneeling up you can reach round behind yourself, take his stiff dick (sheathed and lubed- right on bro!) in your hand and soothe that hard knob over and round your crack. When YOU feel ready to take the plunge, engage the head of his dick in position and hold it there with your hand while you lower yourself onto his dickhead till you feel it pressing against your well-lubed asshole. At this point you should clench your assring muscles tight. Hopefully you've been practicing your Kegel exercises (SEE: my response entitled 'slackness of anal sphincter muscles') so that you're familiar with the sensation of the muscle clenching and relaxing at will. Then relax your love-ring and simultaneously lower youself a little further. You should feel his knob start to slide in.

Don't rush it. Any sensation of pain or discomfort and you raise yourself up and away from his dick. Keep breathing deeply and easily. Don't be too ambitious; the goal of this first session should be to practice the technique of gripping his dick with your ass muscles, relaxing, and sliding a little further down: grip, relax and slide. Just to experience the sensation of your lover being deep inside you and sensing his desire held in check can be very horny.
When the head is fully engaged, take a rest. Lean forward so that you can kiss, locking his dick head with your ring gripping him tight just behind the flange. While you kiss, rock rhythmically and gently so that your ass tugs at his dick.
Be open to the possibility of new sensations and don't think you have to cum. This is your fuck, no-one elses, so let it unfold in a way that suits you. Pumping, bucking and thrusting can come later; there's plenty of time.

There are many advatanges to this postion. The novice has total control over the depth and angle of penetration. Both partners hands are free to explore, caress and excite the other. Lips are accesible for kissing, licking, nuzzling, whispering and you can see your lover's face and eyes. He can raise his knees so that you can lean back for support or have something to push against when you want to raise yourself.

The other thing to remember is basic common sense but sometimes guys forget. Eat regularly, plenty of fibre, plenty of water, get enough exercise. Have a crap before you make love; anal hygiene is important. An enema is probably excessive but you can get a little douche kit from an adult shop, or improvise with a squeezy bottle.
Enjoy yourself,
Spread

[Unregistered]

k so my first time was with my lover but like at first we started out by havin missionary sex but i was on my period and then he wanted to have anal sex so with the wetness of my vaginal he slipt in my anus and was in and out but then he pulled out cuz it hurt to much and turns out i crapped like it was diarrhea and now we are both scared... like is this normal for the first time or what.....

[spreadeagle]

Hey gurl

In order to feel confident about anal sex a bit more planning is required than for conventional heterosexual intercourse. I wouldn't worry unduly about the diarrhea, except that if you'd been planning anal, rather than it happening spontaneously, you could have taken a dump beforehand. Also, very important that he never enters your vagina after anal penetration because of the possibility of infection.
He needs to know that he can't just bang away at your ass as if it's a second vagina. The elasticity is different, and the sensations for each of you will be different too. Take it slowly to start with, you were right to pull out when it hurt. Your asshole needs time to get used to the penetration and if you go slow then you have control and you don't have to be scared.
He might like to think about you exploring his ass with your finger or thumb too (cut your nails first) so he has an idea of how it feels for you. You can do it while he's fucking you and really turn him on.
Take it easy gurl,
Spread.

[Unregistered]

From one aussie lad to another,
I am glad you explined it the way you did because it is the truth. Dalen Jacobs

[Unregistered]

I am a guy and i was wondering, what does anal feel like? I wanted to know how it feels before doing it. And is there any possible way to try it out first before the actual thing? Like using a finger or a dildo.

[spreadeagle]

Mate
It’s great that you are thinking ahead in practical terms about what you want to do – that’s the way to take control and avoid disasters. There’s a lot to say about this, but here are a few pointers to get you started:

For your first explorations your finger is ideal. Dick-sized vegetables are good too, being cheap and readily available. Try a zuchinni or a carrot, or something more flexible like a banana or a long, narrow eggplant. Dildos are cool but they can be expensive and a lot of guys have unrealistic expectations about the size they can handle so take the time to find out what your ass likes before wasting your money.

Don't ever stick anything sharp or pointed up your ass; the goal is to feel good, not to damage yourself. Use lube. If using a vegetable dildo make sure it's long enough so that you minimise the chance of losing it . But if that ever happens, don't panic. The natural movement of the bowel works to expel whatever’s up there.

Choose an appropriate time and place for your exploration, somewhere that you won't be hurried or interrupted. Maybe after a bath or shower when you are relaxed and warm. Be naked and use a hand mirror; squat over it or put your leg up and see what your asshole looks like. This can be a challenge for some guys. Get some lube and watch yourself in the mirror spreading it over your pucker and making slow slow circles round and across your asshole. Then do it with your eyes shut concentrating on the sensations. Remember to keep breathing.

Choose NOT to make penetration the goal of your first session. That way you take the pressure off yourself. Squat over the mirror, looking at your love-ring and see what happens when you squeeze it tight, and when you push out as if you were going to crap. Being naked and relaxed and watching yourself stroking your ass you'll probably get real horny. If you do then why not jack off and keep fondling your ass while you stroke.

The next step is to try inserting your finger and it's good to try this in the bath or shower or naked in your room. If you want to lie down then lie on a towel. Get everything ready beforehand: lube, a roll of paper towels (tissues are too flimsy and disintegrate on your dick), damp washcloth etc. Cut your fingernails very trim. Take a dump beforehand. If you're in the bath or shower use Vaseline as lube because it's not water soluble.

Take your time and have fun. Bathrooms are good because there are usually mirrors and you can see what you’re doing. Try lying with your knees up or standing with one foot on the side of the bath. Sexy music (and lights and scents) are good while you do this and it helps to drown your ecstatic moans and prevent your mother beating on the door. Get some lube on your forefinger and circle it slowly round your hole, spiraling in. But let your hands be all over yourself, stroking and teasing over your body, bringing your nips and nuts and dick into play, but always stroking and circling down towards your ass. What you are doing is connecting the sensation in your ass with all the other turn-on sensations in your body. Circle and thrust with your hips so you are rubbing your ass over that finger tip. Practice gripping and relaxing the little muscle, feeling it open and grasp at your finger like a sea-anemone. Keep breathing, keep stroking, and only go as far as you want to.

When you get a finger in there you know you’re doing great and you’ll probably be able to tell quite easily if you want to do this again. Let the pleasure be your tutor. One thing you need to do once you’re in there is to locate your prostate – you can do this by pointing towards the root of your cock from inside. And don’t forget to try your thumb, too. Reach round making a hitch-hiking gesture at your ass and sit down on your thumb. You’ll find it slides in real nice.

Hope this helps.
Cheers mate,
Spread.

[rubenblack773]

OK! my technique for anal pleasure involves first cleansing the rectum and then adding a generous amout of lubrication. After the basic steps then a little stimulation and a lot of patience. You should never do anything that hurts, because sex is about pleasure. ;)

[Unregistered]

I read what Spreadeagle posted, but I have a bunch of questions I'm worried about.

I'm really curious about how anal feels too. But I'm scared of doing damage to myself and of course the inherent germ factor involved.

I was planning on buying some disposable latex gloves, and washing them clean of any powder. But what would make a good lubricant? Saliva isn't sufficient is it? Would it be best to use a lubricated condom on a finger instead? What about baby oil?

I remember hearing something about how you should not put anything too cold or too warm in your rectum, otherwise you could do damage to the lining. Is this a small safety range that is allowable, or should inserting fingers be pretty safe?

[spreadeagle]

Hi!

Relax, mate, there’s nothing to it.
Your concern for hygiene and safety is commendable but I think latex gloves is going too far. ‘Gloves’ suggests you see your asshole as a dangerous and dirty place to be approached nervously, clinically and using a protective barrier. This conflicts with the need to feel relaxed, confident and intimate if you want to derive the maximum fun and sensuality from your butt-hole. The ass is an excellent barometer of your stress-levels and your emotional state. Think of the word, ‘uptight’.

If you’re worried about fecal matter then eat at regular times, plenty of fruit and vegetables, exercise, drink lots of water and get enough sleep. If you do this then you should shit regularly and copiously and your ass-hole should stay clean and sweet. Exploring your ass in the bath or shower also makes sense. Your asshole is an integral part of you and nothing’s gonna come out of it that didn’t go in through your mouth to start with.

Your finger is the ideal tool to slide up your hole; it’s always going to be body temperature, it’s the perfect size, and you won’t lose it up there. Hey, it might have been designed for the job! Cut your nails way short and scrub your hands with a nail brush before and after. Vaseline is ideal to lube your fingers with and works better in water than anything else. Take a big gob of it and smooth it round and round the ring of your ass, zeroing in and easing it gently in there. With latex gloves you’ll never get the sensitivity that you can enjoy here.

You’re right about extremes of temperature. Respect your ass, love it, and don’t go shoving everything including the kitchen sink up there. The more you tease and coax it, the more pleasure it’ll give, but it doesn’t respond well to violent abuse.

Buddy, if you’re still worried about the hygiene angle then try at your pharmacy for a fingercot or fingerstall: these are like small condoms designed to roll down over your finger to keep it dry when you’re wearing a band-aid. Lube it up with KY Jelly and start stroking. (Leave the pharmacy first). But don’t forget the latex gloves entirely - later on you might get to enjoy their kinky squeak and rub.

Cheers buddy,
Spread

[codybear3]

The first time I did anal, there was enough lube for a gentle slide in. It felt like I had to go take a crap. When my lover pulled out, out came my crap. I was embarassed for a while but got around to eventually planning for eveything. Since then, all my anal encounters have been fun-tastic. Take your time, all will be alright....

[curious girlfriend]

Me and my bf r both still virgins and he asked me to try anal for the first time. At first i hesitated to answer but then i said i dont care. And he kept saying we dont have to if i dont wanna, but i just kept saying i dont care. So then he said he wanted to try it so i let him. Automatically i was on my hands and knees with my face facing his bed with my legs spread. He ran to go find a condom but couldn't find one so he just tried getting it in. At first it took a while for him to figure out how he was going to insert his penis. Finally i felt pain and after his second push i told him it hurt and he asked if i wanted him to stop and i said yeah so he did. Did it hurt because we werent using a condom.....and if so should the condom be slippery, i havent had much experience with this. Also is their neway way to make sure it wont be messy other than going to the bathroom? And if i didnt go take a dump will his penis have a mess?
-curious

[Unregistered]

Hi, Ive been sooo curious about having and doing anal, but im scared that i can be hurt by having this done, i realli want to do it but i am scared about it hurting and all the diseases that can be cought from the anus. whats the best lubricant to use? thxs!

[spreadeagle]

Hey curious girlfriend,

This is interesting! There’s some stuff going on here.
One of the reasons it hurt is cos you weren’t a willing participant; you need more than indifference to get into anal.

Many condoms come ready-lubed but you’re gonna need extra – not Vaseline, but a water-based lube like KY Jelly. An indifferent asshole is much tighter than an indifferent pussy and, as I said in an earlier response, he can’t just go ramming it up there and expect bliss.

If you want to enjoy your asshole then you have to be prepared. Lubricated finger-play is a good way to start. Regular bowel movements, condom-use and maybe some light douching are the way to avoid the mess that you’re worried about.

Anal is always gonna be a different experience for a guy than for a girl because of the anatomical difference: the guy has a prostate gland and you can reach it with your finger. I think you’re way too passive in this encounter. Your b/f has an asshole too and he stands to gain as much pleasure, or more, from it as you do if he’s man enough to let you finger him.
When you're ready to go all the way, try the position I recommended where he is on his back and you are kneeling astride him, sitting down slowly on his tool. That way YOU have the control.

And BTW if you guys are sleeping together, or fooling around, how come he didn’t have a condom to hand? Girlfriend, those sperm are damn sneaky, they spill so easy and they can still be wrigglin' up your love-chute three days later. So think about it, ok?

Cheers
Spread

[spreadeagle]

Hey lil buddy,

Just like you jack so you can get to know the way your dick works – what feels hot and what feels crap – so that you’re not a total klutz when you come to share with another person, in the same way you can work-out with your ass-hole.
The best place for this is in the shower; it’s clean, warm and private. Use Vaseline because it won’t wash off like water-based lube. Getting familiar with these feelings on your own will mean you don’t have to be so scared when the time comes to share your asshole with a friend.
Take your time to lube it, slip a finger up, squeeze on it with your ass-muscle, find and stroke your prostate (HINT: point your finger towards the base of your dick from inside.) If that feels good, try a second finger, and see how you feel about sliding those fingers in and out.
You CAN be hurt when you are fucked, mate– and this is where I get on my hobby horse. If you watch porno you’ll see the guy getting rammed is screwing his face up; there’s a good reason for that and it has nothing to do with ecstasy. Deep ploughing can be way hot, but not for guys just starting out. My view is that lovemaking is most intense when your focus is on the pleasure you are giving the other guy, not on what you are taking from him. It should be turn and turn about; it stands to reason that if two of you are focused on one guy’s pleasure then he’s gonna experience a quantum increase. In a fucking scenario the guy whose asshole is being plugged is where the pleasure-focus should be.

It should be slow and sweet and easy, with the guy being fucked calling the shots. Needless to say, you have to trust the other guy, this is you at your most vulnerable, what could be more intimate than inviting him to slide his dick way deep inside you? It’s got to feel good for you, or what’s the point?

Condoms act as a barrier to the transmission of disease. The use of lube helps reduce the risk of the condom tearing. Violent thrusting increases the risk. Some men wear a double layer of condoms when they fuck. If you follow my advice about the pleasure-focus rightfully belonging to the guy getting fucked then the argument that condom-use reduces sensation for the fucker is a non-issue. The anus, unlike the vagina, is not self-lubricating, therefore water-based lube should be applied liberally and repeatedly during fucking. Petroleum-based lube (Vaseline) weakens condoms and the greater friction increases the risk of condoms breaking and of soreness and irritation in your asshole.

Finally, man, be your own boss. It’s great that you want to explore anal but remember, it’s not compulsory, and it’s not for everyone. If you try it and then decide that it’s not for you, that doesn’t make you ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but it does make you a guy who knows himself a little better than most.

Take care babe
Spread

[Unregistered]

I've been dating this girl for a month or so now, and yesterday she was over and was on her period, we were just fooling around for awhile, and she mentioned "wanna try anal now?" I was stunned, becuase I did mention it before but she said she has never tried it and was kinda uncomfortable with the idea, anyways when she asked I was shocked and said, "are u serious" she said sure, I guess I got her so arroused from fooling around and she wanted to try it, so i grabbed some vaseline and she laid on her stomach and i laid down on top of her and it slid id after the 2nd try...like no problem....she then goes "it feels like i have to go number 2" which made me laugh, and that after when we were done, she said her bum felt weird, this is all normal i know, (not the first time i've done anal), but do you believe it could of been her frist time, because im telling you, it slid in easy.....is it possible? or is she an anal whore? lol.....

[spreadeagle]

Ya - this is entirely possible. Respect your girlfriend for wanting to extend her experience rather than thinking of her as a slut, after all, you were willingly complicit in the experiment. The anal sphincters are a good emotional barometer for indicating how nervous or scared or uptight we are. We grip harder when we feel apprehensive. It sounds like your girlfriend was horny and relaxed and keen to try. Our society constructs a huge no-no taboo around our assholes but I suspect that this is starting to break down now. Possibly men are more scared of their own asses than women are. This girl sounds great! Stick with her and, who knows, you might be investing in a dildo of your own soon and then the skies the limit, mate. By the way, it's okay to fuck when she's menstruating.
Cheers buddy
Spread

[Unregistered]

I'm a very happy heterosexual male.
I love women and everything about
them. I recently discovered the
pleasures of self-anal stimulation
this past spring. I'm now curious
as to what it would be like having
an actual penis inside me. Can
one experiment with the same
sex and still be considered a hetero?
And how would I go about finding
someone to engage in this
anal rendezvous with, without
giving any signals of wanting
a relationship?

[spreadeagle]

Hey my straight mate,

You are the wave of the future! For so long the bogeyman of anal intercourse has been used as a justification for the oppression of gaymen, despite the fact that it is practiced by many heterosexual couples as a means of birth control or to give variety to their love-making. In the Western world recent social changes, such as the availability of birth control, increased earning power for women, fertility and gene technology, and the deconstruction of marriage suggest a growing divergence between sex as a means of procreation and sex as a source of pleasure and social bonding. Since one man plus one woman are no longer required to produce or raise children we can anticipate a rush to indulge in formerly forbidden sexual arenas; the asshole is fair game.

You ask if one can experiment with the same sex and still be considered heterosexual. Your need to ask this question indicates how ingrained homophobia is in our society. It depends on who is doing the ‘considering’. Should your sexual identity be self-determined, or should it be a label applied to you by your community? Welcome to the world as WE know it! But enough polemic.

I have three suggestions:

You don’t say if your self-exploration has included the use of a dildo. Sex-shops sell dildos and vibrators that are cast from actual dicks; they are realistic in size, shape and texture. If you haven’t gone this route yet it might provide a further level of experience for you. This could be made more meaningful if one of your women friends was into it too. A strap-on might be a possibility – wow!

The next option is a time-honoured one: a visit to a prostitute – in this case a hustler or male escort. In the interests of safety you should be circumspect in your choice; when you involve another person risk increases proportionately. Look in gay magazines and newspapers or on the web. Go for a mature experienced guy rather than a pretty twink who’s up himself. There needs to be a level of trust so that you remain in control. Be absolutely clear about your requirements and his charges. Since it’s a financial transaction there should be no anticipation of an emotional relationship.

The third option is a little trickier. It involves looking for another straight-identified guy who is also into exploring his asshole. There are plenty of them out there and a well-placed ad or chat-room inquiry will locate him. The real danger here, at least for you, is that the less impersonal it becomes and the more trust that is involved, then the greater the risk of a relationship developing. When you feel his heat, when he holds you in his arms and you surrender, when you feel him move inside you, then the chances that your heart will open will be extreme. You’ll want to do it again and, voila, it’s a relationship.

You might want to Google <Body Electric Workshops>: by linking into that network you’ll make contact with a group of men who are interested in exploring and honouring their sexual potentials. They used to offer an anal workshop called ‘Exploring the Land Down Under.’

Man, you are gonna go so high
Love
Spread

[Unregistered]

Thank you for the great reply. I took your
first advice and purchased a penis shaped
vibrator. Man, did it feel grrrrreat! And here
was the fun part. I got together with a
female friend of mine, and she actually
used it on me. The main arousal, for her,
arrived when I started moaning quite loudly.
Thanks again!

[Unregistered]

Some men wear a double layer of condoms when they fuck.

Just an FYI--"double wrapping" actually increases the chances of breaking, not doubling the protection as commonly thought.

I'm not trying to downplay what you've said, I just didn't want anyone just starting out to get a nasty surprise when they felt they were safer than could be.

[spreadeagle]

Hi,
Thank you
Spread

[spreadeagle]

Hey mate,

Since you’re in a great relationship there should be no communication difficulties with your boyfriend. Ask him what it is about this position that he likes particularly. My guess is that he enjoys the greater traction and depth of penetration that it affords and because he’s ploughing a deep furrow it’s churning up the shit. Odd as it may seem, there are some guys who get off on a bit of funky grittiness. Does he wear a condom? Is the cleanliness situation a problem for him as well, or just for you?

Apart from attention to diet, regular defecation and anal hygiene you could try this: keep doggie style till he’s ready to cum. Extend the length of foreplay and incorporate the many other positions into that portion of your lovemaking; restrict doggie style to the culmination. You’ll reduce the number of deep dirty doggie thrusts but you’ll also eroticise them more because you’ll associate that position with him cumming.

Cheers
Spread

[spreadeagle]

Hi 14,

Hope you're doing okay. You don't say where you live but I guess you have at least a couple of years to go before you're 'legal'. In order to save yourself, and others, a lot of grief you should play it safe - that doesn't mean you can't have fun.

Until you reach the age of consent, make sure that your sex partners are underage too. If you have a partner that's older and your relationship is discovered he could end up in jail. Once you're old enough you need to make sure your partners are overage too.

In the meantime, get to know your asshole. By learning how it works now you'll be hot and ready when the right time and the right guy come along. Don't let your eagerness to get fucked make you give up your booty to any inappropriate Tom, Dick or Harry. Spend some time thinking about the type of guy you'd like to be with and in developing yourself - physically, intellectualy, socially - so that you increase your chances of attracting him. Don't be in too much of a hurry to grow up, mate. There's plenty of time and a bit of caution now will pay dividends in the long run, while youthful impetuosity can lead to later regrets.

Cheers
Spread

[Unregistered]

Okay i've learned about my ass and i've even stuck some stuff up there but not all the way. I'm kinda afraid ill do something. I've gotten the end of a hangar and stuck it up there, but not a penetration sort of thing, i just stuck it to the hole. So what should i do? I mean i can't buy a sex toy! So please help me.

[spreadeagle]

Hey 14, buddy

I hope that wasn't a wire hanger you were using (or an airplane hangar!) - don't stick anything sharp or hard up there. Read through the other correspondence under this heading and you'll get more pointers, like:
- use your finger, in the shower
- you can improvise a sex toy by using something like a carrot or a candle which you can shape so that it's round and smooth. Use lube on it.
- the prostate is not very far inside your asshole so you don't have to go deep for it to feel good. Most of the nerve endings are nearer the hole so you can't feel very much deep inside anyway.
- practice squeezing your ass-ring tight then pushing out with it. Flutter it by squeezing and releasing quickly. Slide your finger in and feel your ass-ring squeezing against it. When you go for a leak make your pee stop and start in mid-stream by muscle control.

I'll be glad to tell you about my personal experiences but I'd prefer to do that one-on-one. You can contact me by leaving a private message for me here (though you might have to register to do that.)

Cheers
Spread

[Unregistered]

Hey spread eagle i got a round sharpie pen and i stuck it up there and it felt great. Im actually happy about it. It didn't hurt at all, and i think ill do it a lot more often.

[spreadeagle]

Hi mate,

It's cool that you like your Dad. At your age, when you're in transition between boyhood and manhood, it's natural that you should want to spend more time with him. So tell him you'd like it if you could do more stuff together, just the two of you. Suggest that you go swimming, or to the gym, or some other sporty thing where there are changing rooms, showers, saunas and so on. That should give you the chance to check out his body.

So far (so curious) so good. But there's a difference between seeing him naked so you can get an idea of the kind of body you might grow into, and being turned on by the sight of your butt-naked Daddy. So you might want to think carefully before putting yourself in that situation. Because if questions are raised about your own sexuality you might not feel ready to answer them at the moment, he might feel uncomfortable or threatened, and that could put a strain on your relationship.

Your Dad's body is going to look pretty much like any other guy's. It's cool to fantasise about your father when you're young, but part of the skill of navigating successfully through life is in learning when it's appropriate to act on fantasies and when it's not. We're wise when we choose expressions of our feelings that don't alienate the person we love.

Love to you
Spread

[Unregistered]

spreadeagle i need your help, its me 14 man. I dont know if they deleted my name or what!? but i can't log in and i've tried everything, i even re regiestered.
Please help me, and give some ideas for making a better dildo than a marker...


thank you...

[Unregistered]

spreadeagle help me!!!! my name was deleted and i cant log in and send you messages, what should i do, i already re registered and it didn't work!!!

[spreadeagle]

G'day mate

It sounds to me like you're talking about more than just pain around your asshole, which Max addresses in his reply. If your b/f is going deep then he might easily be banging into your guts internally. This can hurt if he's nudging into your 'sigmoid colon' - the part where it starts to go round an 'S' bend. There are a few things you can do to help.

Use lube: on the condom; around your asshole and inside.
Experiment with different positions. When you're first getting into anal I recommend that you sit astride him so that YOU can control the depth and speed and angle of his thrusts. If you read through this correspondence you'll find it covered pretty thoroughly.
Have a shit and a pee before making love.
Take it slowly and don't disrespect yourself by giving his pleasure greater priority than your pain. It shouldn't hurt. The most likely cause is him thrusting too deep, too fast and too hard. In other words, there's nothing wrong with you, the pain's a signal that you both have to pay attention to. This should be about equal, mutual respect and fun. Talk to him about it.
You'll both get a lot more out of fucking if you rid yourselves of the notion that it's a race to see how fast you can cum.

Take it easy
Spread

[Unregistered]

Anal sex is not essential. Before about 1980, it wasn't even popular. There are other ways to have sex which are not painful and are much less likely to cause injury. Also, anal sex is the most efficient way there is to spread HIV and, because it is rough on condoms, condoms do not provide adequate protection.

[Unregistered]

I heard that by having anal sex the you butt gets bigger is that true iwanna try it but im extreml scared its hgunna hurt and i also hurt u can end up popiing by accidnet

[spreadeagle]

Hey buddy,

Let's recap:

Anal sex can hurt but it doesn't have to. The guy getting fucked should be in control and he has to trust the other guy to stop if he says 'Stop'. A good way to manage that is by having the one being fucked on top and lowering his ass down onto his mate's stiff dick.

Your asshole needs to stretch to accomodate a big dick but most dicks aren't any thicker than your average turd. If you try and take a big dick without any preparation it's gonna hurt. You need to get your asshole used to the sensation and the stretch (and your brain used to the idea) by lubing and fingering and dildoing your ass during your private jack-off sessions. And when you're with your buddy, have some foreplay - don't just plunge right in there. With fucking, the thrusts push inwards against the accustomed flexion of the ass-hole muscles and you need to practice control of these muscles so you can tighten and release them at will. Check out 'kegel exercises' in Google; if you practice the exercises you'll keep your hole good and tight. If you don't you could start getting skid-marks; it's as simple as that.

If you take a crap before fucking you'll reduce the chance of pooping involuntarily. But face the fact, the asshole has a dual function and sooner or later you'll encounter some shit. So, eating healthily and regularly and drinking plenty of water are sensible precautions. You can also douche (sluice out your ass) before sex. Always use condoms and plenty of lube.

Mate, your ass is your own to enjoy as you choose. Your fears are understandable but they arise from inexperience and can be managed easily. Make your first fuck with someone you like and trust. Millions of people enjoy anal sex every day.Take responsibility and control over your own sexual health and pleasure.

All the best, mate
Spread

[Topguy]

Thanks guys. I too am a very curious guy, and can't wait for my first time with another guy as a 'bottom'. I know condoms and lubricant are important, but what else must I remember to make sure my first time isn't painful?
Well I hope your first time will be great for you. Just remember that foreplay is important in preparing yourself. Take it slow and don't rush. Ask your partner to rim you or massage your hole with some lube while you both kiss and let him insert his finger into you.
Any discomfort you may have will turn into pleasure as long as he doesn't pound you right off. Just take it slow and easy. You will love it. ;)

[Unregistered]

The first time you have anal sex it hurts like hell. Once you get used to it thoguh it can be a great source of sexual pleasure

[spreadeagle]

The first time you have anal sex it hurts like hell. Once you get used to it thoguh it can be a great source of sexual pleasure

Hey mate!

Could you mean that the first time YOU had anal sex it hurt like hell?

I think it's important that we don't project our own negative experiences onto others because it can create expectations that may not be appropriate or relevant for them. Forewarned is forearmed - fair enough - but I hope that reader's of this correspondence will see that guys have experienced their first fuck in a range of ways.

We need to take responsibility for what happens to our bodies. If you don't want your first fuck to hurt then it seems to me that exercising your freedom of choice and conscientious preparation are key factors. If it hurts then you and your partner aren't ready yet.

Cheers
Spread

[Richie]

On my first time, it felt the same way, a bit full and as though I had to go to the bathroom. Besides that, it was AWESOME!

[Unregistered]

On my first time, it felt the same way, a bit full and as though I had to go to the bathroom. Besides that, it was AWESOME!
Hi, who are you from city and I am from dallas,texas

[Unregistered]

i know many people have used their finger to penetrate their asshole, but what about the whole fist?

[iswalloweasy]

Anal sex hurts the first time. Just relax, and it won"t hurt. I like it. I'd like to take issue with Max's comments that anal sex hurts the first time. Max doesn't distinguish between anal sex and anal intercourse.
Solitary anal sex engaged in for purposes of exploration or pleasure should never hurt. If you are hurting yourself you're doing something wrong.
Anal intercourse (penetration with 2 or more partners) can be excruciatingly painful but it need not be. To state bluntly that it will hurt is unhelpful scaremongering. The difficulty as I see it is that guys are learning how to fuck by mimicking the sex portrayed on porno videos where speed and pounding and massive dicks seem to be the focus; this bears little relation to reality. With sufficient preparation and mutual respect and affection there is absolutely no reason why first time anal intercourse should hurt. It's not about power and control; it's about sharing pleasure. If he's hurting you he's doing something wrong and you are complicit in it.

[iswalloweasy]

I did like it my first time. I can't wait till I get it again!!

[iswalloweasy]

r u still on?

[Unregistered]

Gotta tell ya tequila makes the next move alot easier.no easy drinks like rumrunner works..ya gotta have a good buzz, a couple of poppers and a good partner....call me...lol

[Paras Bhargava]

My recommendation for newbies .... use LOTS and LOTS of lube.

It's great once you get a hang of it.

[Unregistered]

my name is sean **** i am very curious as i have been having gay sensations for about 3 years i am 18. i play football and can never stop my eyes wondering in the changing rooms. i am curious is it enjoyable and worth while, i have masturbated other men before and would like to try it. *** many thanx

[Scott Potter]

my name is scott i have a g/f but i cnt stop myself from looking at guys espeacilly david beckham. i have fingered my bum on many occasions and am thinking of breaking it off from my g/f to try it with my cyber b/f lionel he is sweet and have met many a time, he is 24 and v experianced and i was wondering is it going to hurt me if he penetrates me, also will it hurt me if i penetrate him, i am circumsized, the other probel is my brother has recently found our im gay and threatening to tell my parents!!! what can i do? if anyone can help e-mail me on **** no emails please

[Unregistered]

what household items can i fuckmyself with other than a vegetable i need to know as soon as possible

[Unregistered]

My first time didn't hurt at all. If anything it was very pleasurable!

One trick I use before getting it is to use a few lubricated fingers to widen out my anus and outer rectum, so penetration is easier. When the dick first went in, it didn't really hurt after strecthing things out a bit. After a few strokes I could really feel the pleasure coming from my prostate.

So anal sex doesn't have to hurt. It SHOULDN'T hurt!! Receiving anal should be a very pleasurable experience.

[Kevin.]

I'm SO nervous!

When I'm home for Spring Break, a friend and I are going to get together and have sex. I'm gay, he's curious. I'm so nervous about it. I want it so bad, and from him especially, I've liked him since middle school. I've never had sex, but when I was 15 I guess, I used a dildo. It was a weird feeling, but it wasn't bad. I need to do this. We've been arranging to have sex for about a year now and I always am too scared to go through with it. Do you guys think I'm nervous because it's him I'm doing it with or is it sex? What can I do to not be so nervous about getting fucked? I want it so bad!!

[Unregistered]

my first time on 'bottom' we didnt have a condom or lube so we just made do with out...the act wasn't painful but it wasnt really pleasureable untill i stratled him... for people scared i would recomend spoon position becuase ure most relaxed them

[Unregistered]

i was wondering what i can use for practice for anal sex besides a dildo

[Unregistered]

The night I tried to lose my virginity wasn't exactly a cakewalk. I guess you can say it was because we both were inexperienced at what we were doing. He was in a rush, and I was felt no kind of pleasure. I had to stop him because it was apparent he was only concerned about getting off. It pretty much discouraged me into trying it again. It took six months before I willing to try it again. But luckliy the guy who I give the real credit for "breaking me in" was a older more experienced guy. He was patient and took his time. He talked me thrugh the entire process. Of course it was uncomfortable at first, but I soon found out what pleasure one can get from having anal intercourse. Now I can take it and give it with best of them.

[Unregistered]

My first time hurt a little, i think it was mostly because i was so tense and nervous, now that im relaxed it doesnt hurt at all.

[The Silent Banana]

Ok, this may sound really weird, and it may not be recommended, but it works.
Use the plunger (NOT the rubber end)
The wood end usually has a rounded tip, and it's certainly long enough not to get lost (hopefully). Just lube it well and make sure it's smooth. Don't want any splinters. It's in the bathroom, and , well, it works. It also allows to to try squatting on it, like you were on top of the guy.

[Unregistered]

Hey my straight mate,

You are the wave of the future! For so long the bogeyman of anal intercourse has been used as a justification for the oppression of gaymen, despite the fact that it is practiced by many heterosexual couples as a means of birth control or to give variety to their love-making. In the Western world recent social changes, such as the availability of birth control, increased earning power for women, fertility and gene technology, and the deconstruction of marriage suggest a growing divergence between sex as a means of procreation and sex as a source of pleasure and social bonding. Since one man plus one woman are no longer required to produce or raise children we can anticipate a rush to indulge in formerly forbidden sexual arenas; the asshole is fair game.

You ask if one can experiment with the same sex and still be considered heterosexual. Your need to ask this question indicates how ingrained homophobia is in our society. It depends on who is doing the ‘considering’. Should your sexual identity be self-determined, or should it be a label applied to you by your community? Welcome to the world as WE know it! But enough polemic.

I have three suggestions:

You don’t say if your self-exploration has included the use of a dildo. Sex-shops sell dildos and vibrators that are cast from actual dicks; they are realistic in size, shape and texture. If you haven’t gone this route yet it might provide a further level of experience for you. This could be made more meaningful if one of your women friends was into it too. A strap-on might be a possibility – wow!

The next option is a time-honoured one: a visit to a prostitute – in this case a hustler or male escort. In the interests of safety you should be circumspect in your choice; when you involve another person risk increases proportionately. Look in gay magazines and newspapers or on the web. Go for a mature experienced guy rather than a pretty twink who’s up himself. There needs to be a level of trust so that you remain in control. Be absolutely clear about your requirements and his charges. Since it’s a financial transaction there should be no anticipation of an emotional relationship.

The third option is a little trickier. It involves looking for another straight-identified guy who is also into exploring his asshole. There are plenty of them out there and a well-placed ad or chat-room inquiry will locate him. The real danger here, at least for you, is that the less impersonal it becomes and the more trust that is involved, then the greater the risk of a relationship developing. When you feel his heat, when he holds you in his arms and you surrender, when you feel him move inside you, then the chances that your heart will open will be extreme. You’ll want to do it again and, voila, it’s a relationship.

You might want to Google <Body Electric Workshops>: by linking into that network you’ll make contact with a group of men who are interested in exploring and honouring their sexual potentials. They used to offer an anal workshop called ‘Exploring the Land Down Under.’

Man, you are gonna go so high
Love
Spread

spread, i would like you to clear up some confusion for me. I am a male who is attracted to females only. However, when I watch both heterosexual and homosexual pornography, I am equally "enticed." what does this mean to you?

[Unregistered]

i wanna have sex with a male but i cant find one and im scared that it will hurt...

[Unregistered]

i was wondering what i can use for practice for anal sex besides a dildo

[spreadeagle]

Hey mate,

I guess when you say that you are 'enticed' by watching homo porn you mean that it gives you a stiffy; and I guess by 'homosexual' you mean gay male, since a lot of straight guys find lesbian porn a turn-on. Not sure why you opted to watch the gay porn - curiosity, maybe.

Several thoughts:
Levels of horniness vary from time to time and from man to man; it takes very little to arouse some guys. The frisson of danger involved in watching something 'forbidden' can be arousing in itself - especially for jaded appetites.

In porno videos, whether aimed at the gay or straight market, a lot of the focus is on closely framed images of fat dicks plunging into tight hairy holes. The close-framing obscures the gender and identity of the fuckee and reduces them to a hot sexhole. Most of us have spent some time staring down at our ramming dicks in the action of fucking; it's a guy thing.

Often the dude being fucked in gay porn is portrayed in a subordinate role. He'll be wincing. moaning, begging, being ass-slapped, lying there passively while the fucker, usually bigger-dicked and silent, fucks the ass off him. This treatment is not so different from the way women are treated in straight porn. For the straight guy watching gay porn there are two roles to identify with; the choice is yours.

Possibly the actors in gay porn have better bodies than those in straight porn, and eye-candy can be a source of admiration and aspiration regardless of sexual orientation.

You're more likely to see male/male affection and kissing in gay porn (as opposed to sex acts) and this intimacy could well be something that straight guys would enjoy more of in their own man-to-man relationships but dare not indulge because of homophobia.

A lot of men are anxious about dick-size. Porno actors have big dicks. You might think watching big-dicked guys in action would be a turn off for those insecure about their own dicks. But those tricky camera angles can encourage a viewer to identify with the guy doing the fucking and the thought - shit, my dick is massive - can be hot. And if, in your imagination, you're fucking another dude, then maybe that makes you even more of a man.

I don't think being turned-on by gay porn is anything you need to be unduly concerned about. Like anything else, it's only when it starts to interfere with your 'normal' functioning that you need worry. Just be aware though, that jacking while watching a visual stimulus is going to form a mental association.

Have you had anal with your girl-friend?

Cheers buddy,
Spread

[Unregistered]

As a heterosexual guy I have experimented with anal by myself and I liked it. When I introduced the idea to my girlfriend, she was reluctent but still willing to try. We tried just one finger and she loved it and, after a while, became comfortable with the idea. The problem is not that it hurts during the act but after the act. Although she wants it, she is now always afraid to go to the bathroom afterwards (it hurt to take a dump). Is there something I'm doing wrong or is it normal the first couple times?

[spreadeagle]

G'day mate,

Not quite sure from your post whether you progressed beyond the finger or not. If you read back through this dialogue you'll probably find your questions answered.

Briefly, though:
-Use plenty of lube. A condom isn't a bad idea because you must NEVER shag her in the cunt after your dick has been in her ass.
- You should be less vigorous, more gentle, than when cunt-fucking because the lining of the asshole is much more vulnerable to damage. But always bear in mind - if pain persists see your doctor. If she's afraid to go to the bathroom she'll tense up and that could contribute to pain. She needs to relax, but you need to ensure that she IS relaxed.
- If she practises Kegel exercises - Google it - this will not only enhance her own orgasm but will improve the elasticity of her anal sphincters.
- Don't ram your big stiffy in straight away; work up to it with lots of finger work and lubing. Had you thought of giving her a good ass-licking?
- A good position is with you lying behind her spoon-fashion. This enables you to finger her clit and breasts simultaneously.

Cheers, Buddy
Have fun
Spread

[Unregistered]

how can i use household items to get pleasure if im gay

[Unregistered]

Hey mate,

I guess when you say that you are 'enticed' by watching homo porn you mean that it gives you a stiffy; and I guess by 'homosexual' you mean gay male, since a lot of straight guys find lesbian porn a turn-on. Not sure why you opted to watch the gay porn - curiosity, maybe.

Several thoughts:
Levels of horniness vary from time to time and from man to man; it takes very little to arouse some guys. The frisson of danger involved in watching something 'forbidden' can be arousing in itself - especially for jaded appetites.

In porno videos, whether aimed at the gay or straight market, a lot of the focus is on closely framed images of fat dicks plunging into tight hairy holes. The close-framing obscures the gender and identity of the fuckee and reduces them to a hot sexhole. Most of us have spent some time staring down at our ramming dicks in the action of fucking; it's a guy thing.

Often the dude being fucked in gay porn is portrayed in a subordinate role. He'll be wincing. moaning, begging, being ass-slapped, lying there passively while the fucker, usually bigger-dicked and silent, fucks the ass off him. This treatment is not so different from the way women are treated in straight porn. For the straight guy watching gay porn there are two roles to identify with; the choice is yours.

Possibly the actors in gay porn have better bodies than those in straight porn, and eye-candy can be a source of admiration and aspiration regardless of sexual orientation.

You're more likely to see male/male affection and kissing in gay porn (as opposed to sex acts) and this intimacy could well be something that straight guys would enjoy more of in their own man-to-man relationships but dare not indulge because of homophobia.

A lot of men are anxious about dick-size. Porno actors have big dicks. You might think watching big-dicked guys in action would be a turn off for those insecure about their own dicks. But those tricky camera angles can encourage a viewer to identify with the guy doing the fucking and the thought - shit, my dick is massive - can be hot. And if, in your imagination, you're fucking another dude, then maybe that makes you even more of a man.

I don't think being turned-on by gay porn is anything you need to be unduly concerned about. Like anything else, it's only when it starts to interfere with your 'normal' functioning that you need worry. Just be aware though, that jacking while watching a visual stimulus is going to form a mental association.

Have you had anal with your girl-friend?

Cheers buddy,
Spread

Thanks for the info. I haven't had anal with my girlfriend, but I was exploring pornography. I basically watched every single straight category there was to offer and then moved on to the bisexual videos out of interest. I don't masturbate to pornography, but had a similar reaction to both straight and bisexual pornography. I was curious as to what this meant.

However, after watching the bisexual video, it seems anal sex between the two males is quite pleasurable. Could you elaborate in detail the sensations you feel in both the dominant and passive positions?

Thanks dude.

[Unregistered]

I'm a hetero female and find myself to be turned on by female-male, male-male, and female-female pornography yet have never felt sexually attracted to other females outisde of pornography. It's pretty much an exclusively pornographic affair.

I regularly receive anal sex from my boyfriend. Personally I find it to be a wholly pleasurable experience as a receiver. The first time it did not hurt at all, it was an odd sensation at first but very quickly felt amazingly good. I'm unsure why there is still stigma attached to anal sex, it being viewed as something dirty is completely undeserved. It's a different sensation from vaginal sex but I'd say just as rewarding for both the receiver and giver.

[Unregistered]

Hey,

I'm considering trying anal sex, i'm a hetero male and have always been sort of curious as to what it's like to be with another man. And i'm wondering, if I was to be on the recieving end... how can I prepare? I know you should go to the bathroom before, but is there a better to way to "clean" yourself before engaging in something like that (that doesn't require purchasing something)

Thanks for the help

[spreadeagle]

Hey,

The best thing you can do is to eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables and drink plenty of water, and keep physcially active. If you eat at regular times, and not in between, then you should crap at regular times too, and should evacuate fully each time. All this has positive results on your health whether or not you are taking it up the ass. There are cells in the lining of your bowel whose function is to keep it clean by eating up the debris. That should be enough to remove any anxiety about 'accidents' while you're screwing.

Remember that if you identify as heterosexual you don't have to go with a guy in order to enjoy anal. You can get your g/f to use a dildo on you or you can do it yourself.

If you're with a guy then he will of course be using a condom so that should help allay fears about hygiene.

Douching is another possibility and if you don't want to buy anything then you could improvise with a squeezy bottle and a short piece of plastic tubing - but I recommend that you do a little online research first -colonic irrigation/bowel hygiene.

Hope that helps
Cheers
Spread

[spreadeagle]

Hey I'm a 15 year old guy, and although I'm heterosexual lately I've been really interested in getting penetrated in my ass by another guy. The problem is I'm probably too young to find someone who would want to do me, even though Im open to guys to even 20 years old. Second I dont know where I could even find anyone.

G'day mate,
I don't know where you're writing from but my guess is it's someplace where, at 15, you're under the age of consent. The best solution for you might be to try and find another underage guy who is interested in experimenting too. The implications of getting caught having sex with an older dude could be horrendous for both of you.

The difficulty of how you go about finding someone will be dependent on the levels of homophobia or general horniness in the area you live in. It's probably safer to go with someone you know rather than a stranger, but someone whose discretion you can rely on. Always carry a condom and lube round with you so that you're ready to be safe if the opportunity arises.

In my day sleep-overs, camping trips, bike rides in the forest, the sandhills at the beach or the changing rooms at the swimming pool were places where young guys got off together.

You don't have to be in a rush to get fucked in the ass. Sex can be way hotter if you learn to take your time. Your asshole is still going to be there when you're twenty and in a better position to find a fuck-buddy.

Cheers
Spread

[DannyTheWolf]

Hi

I just wondering if Cum or in better terms Seemen hurts of affectsw the inside of you're rectum once it has been released into your partner.

I just fear this when i go to make out with my lover when i meet him.

[spreadeagle]

Hi Danny,

Healthy semen poses no threat in your partners rectum. However, the lining of the rectum is extremely permeable and absorbent and it is also much more delicate than the lining of the vagina. Nutrients or drugs in liquid form are readily absorbed through the lining of the rectum and into the bloodstream.

It's absolutely vital that you understand this because it's the primary reason why anal intercourse is such a high risk activity in the transmission of HIV-AIDS. Semen or pre-cum containing the HIV virus can move extremely quickly through the rectal lining and into your lover's blood. That is why condoms are so strongly recommended in anal sex.

I hope that answers your question Danny, and encourages you to love safely.

Cheers
Spread

[Unregistered]

I personally think Strickt Tops cant fuck and dont know how too coz they never been fucked them selfs so they dont know wich movements,positions are nice en enjoyable. I do also think strict tops have a too big ego.
Out a survey its proven that bi sexueal versatile men are the best in bed soo women say. soo if u are too be a king top u have too know how it feels too have a penis up ur ars.

strict bottems have erection problems.

[!!abbot]

I was so terrified when my boyfriend came to me and approached me to go for anal sex, I always heard this from my mates that anal sex can hurt very badly if not conducted in the correct way. But I could not deny him too as I love him very much and he also is a very good person by nature. So I decided to go on with it, well this was surprising that I did not feel the slightest of pains on the contrary this was like pleasure unbound to me. So from my point of view I can only say that anal sex is an enjoyable affair and once you have tasted it you will want more and more of it.

[beyourself]

I'm male and about 18 yrs. old and my boyfriend wants to have anal intercourse but I'm afraid of doing it cause I'm afraid it will hurt can you please give me some pointers.

[Unregistered]

ok, so i know how to go about anal and stuff, but what i still dont know is what it feels like. so can someone out there please describe what it feels like.

[spreadeagle]

Hi,
If you read through this correspondence you'll find suggestions along with other guys commments on their own experiences.

I'm assuming you mean that your boyfriend wants to fuck you. Is it a first for him too? If he's inexperienced then there's a likelihood that he'll have no idea what it feels like and will risk hurting you. You could suggest that you fuck him too and see how he responds. Always in relationships there are situations where the partners have different agendas and this is where discussion and compromise is required. You should be wary of doing something you feel is not right for you because of what you fear you might lose if you don't do it.

If you're afraid then you'll be tense and it's more likely to be painful or uncomfortable. You should work towards it over several sessions. He should do plenty of arse-licking. Later he should insert a lubed finger into your arsehole so that he can tickle your prostate while sucking your dick. He shouldn't do anything to you that he isn't prepared to have you do to him.

If and when you feel ready to have his dick up your arse it must be with prior agreement that you can stop immediately if it feels uncomfortable. He needs an erection, a condom and plenty of lube. You should lube your arsehole too. Let himl ie on his back and you sit astride him facing him, grip his stiff dick and angle it into your hole. Lower yourself till you feel his knob against your ring. Let it press gently and practise squeezing your ring tight (as if trying to stop his knob going in) and then relaxing it while simultaneously sitting down gently on his dick. Don't try and go all the way at once. Repeat. Sooner or later his knob will pop in.

Your arse will hold it in place. It's important that he doesn't get excited and try and thrust it deep. Lean forward so that you can kiss while you just get used to the stretch. If you're enjoying it then you can slowly start to slide a little deeper and then retreat - keep it slow and gentle. I suggest that the first few times you make all the moves - all he has to do is lie there with a big stiffy. If it's not your cup of tea that's fine; anal is not compulsory.

Have fun, be safe,
Cheers
Spread

[Unregistered]

I think it does a little bit but after a while you just feel very full of cock and you start to like the feel of that nice warm cock inside your body. I like it a lot and I can hardly wait until my man shoves it back into me. The feel of his cock going in and out of me is indiscribable. It is like I have never ever felt brfore.

[Unregistered]

I was consipated the other day and I had to shove a suppositry up my ass. I dreaded it. but actually It felt really nice!! It was a strange feeling.yet very enjoyable... untill the supositry kicked in and I couldnt stop shitting! lol

while Im here I might aswell ask for your opinions. I am 25, and for about 3 years I have always wanted to try out sex with another man. I am married and have been for 4 years. I dont find men a turn on! I much prefer women but Willys DO TURN ME ON ! If a man put his willy in my face i think i would gladly suck it and wank it. But anal with a man or kissing a man puts me right off! I am very confused!! Is this normal ??
Im not sure whether im Bi sexual or not. Are you bi sexual if you like cock?? but not men! IM A WIERD ONE!
Is anyone out there the same as me?

HELP!!!

Steve

[spreadeagle]

Since most people are discreet about their sex lives it's always going to be difficult to determine what is 'normal' - meaning something most people do, or only a few people do.

I think it's pretty clear that most sexually active people like cock. If you figure in all the straight women who enjoy fucking, all the straight guys for whom cock is a major part of their identity and all the gay guys who adore it -then yes, loving cock is normal. Probably not so for lesbians.

That you enjoy cock in a general sense says nothing about your sexual orientation. Because of their horniness and curiosity a lot of straight men would suck dick if it was flopped in their face but - and this is important - only if there was absolutley no risk of discovery. That means that their homophobia is greater than their desire to experiment.

You may be bisexual and may not know for sure unless you have sex with another man. But since you're married and presumably intend to be faithful to your wife then you've chosen not to open that door and are, to all intents and purposes, straight. The thought of kissing a guy turns you off and, in my book, that is always a far clearer indication of straight orientation than whether or not you ever fuck with another man.

Do you ever watch porn with your wife? That way you could both get off on dick at once. Depending on how freewheeling your lifestyle is you might want to hook up with another couple.

[Unregistered]

Does Ur Condom not get all dirty and covered with feaces?

[James]

:eek: If your worried about a condom covered with feces after anal sex...then just simply ask the person before hand if they have had a bowel movement lately...i mean it gonna end up dirty anyways so what does it matter. lol :)

[Unregistered]

dont worry about it, wen on ur period it is best not to have sex because it can become uncomfortable and sore, so from ur experionce i would say keep practicin anal sex but not wen on ur period

[tharanga]

Well unfortunately this was not the case for me. In fact my first experience to anal sex was very painful. That too we thought was due to the lack of experience in our part but this went on happening several times later on and we just could not figure out where we could have gone wrong. Now we have stopped this practice completely. :confused:

[Gaeilge]

Maybe do it slowly next time.

Last time I did it, it was sore actually. Never really been sore.

But then after a bit it was OK. Lol. :eek:

[Unregistered]

Hello.
The firt time i had anal was very painfull because my partner have not many experience and he was not gentil.
We made other times but he was very bad. I say to stop and take of but he dont listen to me and continue.
Other times we where making convencional sex ( vaginal ) and he put his dick in my ass quickly.
He star to love anal ( and i dont ). Many times we made only anal and that was very painfull to me ( i think he loves the ideia that is hurting me )
Now i have a new boyfriend and he wanna made anal, but i'm scared.
WHat can i do?

[spreadeagle]

It would be helpful to know which country you live in.Your questions suggest you come from a culture where women are used to being abused.

Sex should always be pleasurable and fun. It's good that you've separated from the boyfriend who enjoyed hurting you, but you want to make sure that you don't get into the same situation again.

You need to talk with your new boyfriend and explain that you will not do anything that hurts you sexually - that you would rather have no boyfriend at all than have one who doesn't respect you or one whom you cannot trust.

If he wants to have anal sex you could suggest that you buy a dildo and that every time he fucks you up the ass that you will fuck him with the dildo too. Of course, he might enjoy that.

If you go the anal sex route I suggest you take a position where he lies on his back and you sit on his dick so that you have total control over the depth, speed and angle of penetration.

You should tell him that you are willing to include anal sex in your love-making but that he has to make you cum every time you make love.

Most importantly - explain to him that he must never stick his dick in your vagina after sticking it in your ass - that carries a very high risk of infection.

[Gaeilge]

What happens when you let your partner cum in your ass?

[BabyCakes]

And I have another question, Also I've never done anal but I've been dating this guy over a year, we have only had sex but not anal.
And now we want to try anal, is it a good feeling or does it hurt really bad?
If it hurts really bad, I probably wont end up doing it.
:cool:

[Unregistered]

hi m8 first time i got bumed by a man it hurt like hell i was screaming my head of n nealy cryed but he still didnt stop so be carfull

[MD_81]

My first time was just amazing and not painful at all. Though I'm not proud of how it happened (it was with a guy I had just met a few hours earlier at a club while I was on holiday), this guy actually turned out to be very nice and very considerate ... I guess I picked him well!

Anyway, he started by giving me a back massage with lavender oil to help me relax (I was understandably a little nervous about what we were doing). After a while, he asked if I was ready ... by that stage I was so relaxed. Anyway, he lubed up his fingers and started by sliding 1 in slowly, which felt weird at first but very nice. Then he slid in 2, and then 3. Afterwards, he asked if I was feeling okay and when I said yes, he gently slid his dick in. It felt so good that I remember crying out in pleasure. He repeated this about 5 or 6 times and then suggested we take a break for a while, as I had told him it was my first time. At no point did he pressure me or take things too quickly, although by that stage I was secretly hoping he would f*** the living daylights out of me, lol! We didn't carry on after that, we ended up sucking each other off and giving each other handjobs. I have very good memories of my first time.

My point is that first time anal sex does not need to be painful at all, as long as you have a partner who is understanding, gentle and knows what he's doing. My first time partner and I actually ended up becoming good friends and have fond memories of the night he made me a man... :)

[EASYB]

I Need Help To Ive Been Lookin At A Lot Of Guys N I Aint Tryin To And A Guy Suck Me And I Liked It And He Fingered Me In The Butt I Need Help Is It Gonna Hurt Me And Would Anybody In Here Want To Help Me Do This

[bottomann1234]

I have been a bottom boi for five yaers now and don't even think of being on top. I love the feel of anal sex and would have it no other way. The first time for me was done very slow and easy and convienced me that would be gay for the rest of my life.

[iron spartan33]

The first time I did anal, there was enough lube for a gentle slide in. It felt like I had to go take a crap. When my lover pulled out, out came my crap. I was embarassed for a while but got around to eventually planning for eveything. Since then, all my anal encounters have been fun-tastic. Take your time, all will be alright....


i made sure that didnt happen by going out and getting a dildo now b4 u go looking take a friend 18 or above i had 1 when i was 14 so maybe you do 2. i just tried it out see how i liked it but be sure to use lube i love water based take crap b4 is what i do but maybe some others no better just have an open mind:cool:

[Unregistered]

i need help, i have a dildo and have used it, it feels ok but so far i havent experienced pleasure. so my question is how do i use my dildo to feel that pleasure?

[Unregistered]

yeah im definately straight but i want to give a guy head at least once in my lifetime, does that make me bisexual or not. im also open to anal but i dont want a penis inside of me, what can i do?

[Unregistered]

Ok so I am going to have anal for the first time with my guy and I am a little scared.....is there anything I should know? I have headr before that shit is involved is that true? will he pull out covered in crap? please help me....

[James]

Seems you should be more worried about whether or not a condom is going to be worn than worried about, well...the other.

[cowboy]

yeah im definately straight but i want to give a guy head at least once in my lifetime, does that make me bisexual or not. im also open to anal but i dont want a penis inside of me, what can i do?
,,yeah yeah you str8 alright!! hahahaha,,,,

[dave 851]

Okay, Okay... I laughed. Does that make me crooked? LOL.

Oh ... your at #99. Thats just one away from 100.

[dave 851]

Okay, Okay... I laughed. Does that make me crooked? LOL.

Oh ... your at #99. Thats just one away from 100.

Wow.. I win.

For creating a thread and/or post at 100, I win todays door prize.

http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10051&langId=-1&catalogId=10053&productId=100431666&N=10000003+90401+501480&marketID=401&locStoreNum=8125

[cowboy]

Okay, Okay... I laughed. Does that make me crooked? LOL.

Oh ... your at #99. Thats just one away from 100.

,,,,bingo!! 100 hahahaha

[Unregistered]

It was like nothing I have ever experienced before. It hurt intially until he poped his head in. I was on my back (I do not reccomend this as a first time position) with legs up I unfortuantely also had my leg in a cast at the time.

[14 yr old guy]

Thaks for the advise.

Iv always beem curious what it felt like for a girl anal.

after reading all of your posts it gave me the courage to try it.

All iid like to say is thanks, it felt great!

One question thou, what would you reccomend i use to go up there with?

[Unregistered]

think about it. there are more men then you think that want to do the same. look for online datind sites look for bi men who have girlfriends. or even a drunk friend of yours. but be safe about it never take the chance to fuck up your life.

[Unregistered]

Well, I had my first time today and well, it was awesome. BUT. It did hurt a lot. After all the guy is pretty big so that didn't help but still. I would do it again i just need to wait for my ass to heal :S!

(go on your back... it hurts TONS less and feels WAY better.)

[hotbottom]

going on your back is good but rideing is vary good to you have control of the pinitration and the speed iv been married for 25 years and im abottom:)

[James]

:rolleyes:Wow.. I win.

For creating a thread and/or post at 100, I win todays door prize.

http://www.homedepot.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10051&langId=-1&catalogId=10053&productId=100431666&N=10000003+90401+501480&marketID=401&locStoreNum=8125 LOL Uh...You need a hobby. Lmao:p

[cowboy]

:rolleyes: LOL Uh...You need a hobby. Lmao:p
,,wut you doing in here at this time ? mmmm? hahahaha,,,GO TO BED,,,,sweetie kisss ahahaha

[Unregistered]

i just had sex, and it was ok, but my ass feels really streched out...is it going to go back to the way it was. i feel as if my rectum as been pushed in and when i feel it, it doesn't feel so tight and rigged. is there something wrong?

[Unregistered]

i just had sex, and it was ok, but my ass feels really streched out...is it going to go back to the way it was. i feel as if my rectum as been pushed in and when i feel it, it doesn't feel so tight and rigged. is there something wrong?
I ve been told it goes back to normal I can't wait to do it myself.

[Unregistered]

I'm gonna have my first time in a few days and I'm understandably nervous about it. I've practiced with dildos over the past year but find that once I get them 7 inches in, it feels like I'm ramming into something and it really hurts. I think its the sigmoid colon and I've read over some of the comments here, but is that all the more I can take? If I keep relaxing, can I take him deeper. my b/f says he's 8 inches and I'm just worried about this. I love the anal sensation but when it hits whatever is up there (my guts) I cringe in pain. Is there anything I'm doing wrong with the dildos. I use plenty of lube.

[Unregistered]

anal sex for the first time as not as bad as i thought it was gonna b. this guy cock was 7 inch and it doesnt hurt. Get fucked by a 11inch, nows that great. if any guy wants me to do it for with them ill be gentle ask me for ma msn

[Unregistered]

I'm a straight guy and my girlfriend and I have been wanting to try anal (on me with her using a strap on). I have been experimenting with various toys and found a nice strap-on for her that feels good for me. The only thing that worries me is that I can only seem to get these toys so deep and then it gets difficult to push them in further. I don't feel any pain, I just feel more resistance. I am wondering how deep is too deep to be safe.

[Unregistered]

especially read some the post about pound away and stuff
i want my first time to be gentle and with lots of lotion
and scented candles and soft music

[Unregistered]

I'm a straight guy and my girlfriend and I have been wanting to try anal (on me with her using a strap on). I have been experimenting with various toys and found a nice strap-on for her that feels good for me. The only thing that worries me is that I can only seem to get these toys so deep and then it gets difficult to push them in further. I don't feel any pain, I just feel more resistance. I am wondering how deep is too deep to be safe.

about 10 inches...

[Unregistered]

Hey,
I'm a heterosexual guy. But im curious about anal sex. I have tried using my fingers but it still feels 'uncomfortable', like something shouldnt be up there. I have heard countless times that there is a lot of pleasure after that stage, but i seem never to reach it.

Any advice?

thanks

[Unregistered]

Well for one I never found fingers to be that great, a dildo has alot more effective result. I'm not sure on other people's opinions but I feel it's best if you ease it in and out while being relaxed until the back and forth motion has almost no resistance. Then just pound away! Heh.. of course you don't want to go deep enough to run the tip too far, you could hurt yourself that way. Instead find a safe depth, mark it with your fingers and then wail away.. remember to use lube and don't be too rough, lol.

[Unregistered]

My first time as the "bottom" was a little painful. But after about 5 min then it felt wonderful. Then a couple times my partner hit a diffrent angle and it hurt a little bit.

[Unregistered]

I bat both ways and I want to be penetrated but I don't like the idea of penetrating another man. If I have to shag another guy I'm not going to bother with it. Can it work like that ?

[Unregistered]

Is it safe to use hot dogs for practice?

[sweber25]

Thanks guys. I too am a very curious guy, and can't wait for my first time with another guy as a 'bottom'. I know condoms and lubricant are important, but what else must I remember to make sure my first time isn't painful?

You should also remember that when he is pushing in, you should push out with your butt hole. It will make entry a lot easier and you won't be tempted to tighten up when it goes in. Also, don't play with your cock until it's fully in and you're used to the feeling, it will make you tighten up and it won't feel good.

[Tyler]

So, for quite some time now I have been convinced that I am straight. You know the whole teen 'exploration' deal. Well I met this guy at a party. I was attracted to him. At first I thought it was just the alcohol thinking for me, but I saw him the next day perfectly sober and felt the same way.

This is a scary thing for me. Me and him have been hanging out alot. I went to see him today and we ended up making out. We enjoyed about an hour of fooling around and he asked if I'd have sex with him.

I want to have sex with him, but I know I'm not clean or ready down there. I mean, the only thing ever up there was when I gave myself an enema.

My question to you guys is, how should I prepare?

This is something I know nothing about.

[ImJustMe]

So, for quite some time now I have been convinced that I am straight. You know the whole teen 'exploration' deal. Well I met this guy at a party. I was attracted to him. At first I thought it was just the alcohol thinking for me, but I saw him the next day perfectly sober and felt the same way.

This is a scary thing for me. Me and him have been hanging out alot. I went to see him today and we ended up making out. We enjoyed about an hour of fooling around and he asked if I'd have sex with him.

I want to have sex with him, but I know I'm not clean or ready down there. I mean, the only thing ever up there was when I gave myself an enema.

My question to you guys is, how should I prepare?

This is something I know nothing about.

[Unregistered]

Hey everyone,

I am a female who might be interested in anal. My boyfriend has asked for it a few times, and I've always been hesitant. I was wondering...after doing it, does it change the size or shape of your butthole or does it go back to it's normal size?
I was reading through the posts here and it seems to be the consensus that it doesn't really hurt, it just feels like you have to take a crap...and that lots of lube helps. We've experimented with him putting his fingers up there, but I'm a little nervous about having his penis up there.

Thanks!

[Unregistered]

Also, is it possible to tear the anus and does that hurt or cause any serious damage?

[tiffany]

I had anal sex and my butthole started bleeding i dont feel right anymore=(

[Unregistered]

Interesting topic

[Unregistered]

I tried the anal bead thing i but i still got no pleasure, I thought anal beads were supposed to give a orgasm but it never fulfilled my desire so i ended up throwing my beads away, I'm not against anal sex all the way, i prefer frot over anal sex any day.

[Unregistered]

I just bottomed for the first time today and was pleasantly surprised. I had been exploring my hole for awhile, which I think was essential preparation. I also was very attracted/comfortable with the guy and super turned on. Lots of lube, condom, and a hot dude you dig is all you really need. Just breathe....

[aro615]

so.. my ex was my first. we started out missionary style. but he wanted to try anal.. and when he put it in.. it hurt really bad. he didnt even get it all the way in. i told him to take it out. so he did. but im not sure why it hurt so bad. any thought??

[Unregistered]

u can use ur finger hairbrush head basicly anything that has an end on it hat is what i do anyway

[jamie]

hey,well,ive had anal sex this evening (quite alot actuly)
andit dosent hurt one bit even the first time didnt hurt,if it hurts then your not doing it right ,this is coming from a guy with experience!

[Unregistered]

I really want to try anal sex but I'm nervous about it. Is it okay for the first time to hurt a little? When I finger myself- I use plenty of lubricant, very generous amount- I can't get past two fingers. It hurts a little and I know I'm being patient with my body but it still hurts a little. :(

[Unregistered]

the first time i tried it, my boyfriend and i felt like we each had a million orgasms happening at once. it is much mor pleasurable when two men do it but with a woman its wierd. Im gay and we have anal sex every night and i think it strenghtens our relationship and shows that we can give each other this amount of pleasure

[Unregistered]

Does vasaline work as an effective lubricant?

[Unregistered]

me & my bf had anal unprotected & we were each others first soo can i get HIV or no

[grinder]

hay anal! can u help me with my questions. i have some questions should anal sex hurt really bad? will you be able to walk fine or will it hurt to walk badly? will it hurt to sit down? and will ur asshole get bigger:confused:

[marcan90]

It does hurt at first once his penis is inside your butt, but yu have to take a few moments to get yourself used to it. After that you will feel pleasure from the likes of which you have never felt before.

[Unregistered]

I was incredibly unprepared for my first time as a bottom... it was slightly awkward and uncomfortable at first but i very quickly got into. use enough lube and find the right position, and enjoy the cock :)

[Unregistered]

I have a problem that after the guy was inside in my anus, I can not keep myself hard. Sometimes even during the time they inserting their penis will make me soft, or even when I feel really comfortable when they are inside me, I still can not keep myself erected. I asked many gay friends, they said they are always hard before and after anal insertion, even can cum together with their sex partner. How can I keep it hard? Is there any ways can forget about hurting? By the way, I feel hurt most of the time in my bladder, especially like I am going to pee out during sex. Any advice?

[Unregistered]

Im mostly a top, and I have to say, the first couple of times hurt, but you have to learn to relax and let your muscles open up... Tell your partner to take his time and go as slowly as you need him to. What I would recommend is holding on to your penis while he's sticking it in you, but if you're lying on your back, it also feels good. Then, once he goes in and you just learn to relax... it feels sooooooooooooooo good. I usually cum as soon as he sticks in right away.. It's like he's pushing a button or something that causes me to cum.... I would definitely recommend it.

[Unregistered]

ummmmm............ what should i use to stick up my ass 4 masterbation. a guy.

[Unregistered]

When i see two men having sex the receiving partner penis is hardly ever erect so that leads to believe that anal sex only pleases the top. The bottom partner is physiological thinking that anal feels good when it does not. In my opinion if anal sex was so good why most of the majority is not doing it. I'm not knocking anal sex when it tried it i never received any pleasure it just not right for me.

[Unregistered]

Hey, I'm pretty scared about my first time anal, my boyfriend has been asking me since the day we had sex.. He did try to put it in but i jolted forward because I got too scared.

I need help, what can I do to put down my nerves?

Thanks<3

[Unregistered]

Okay so I'm visiting my boyfriend on sunday, so kind of need this information quickly.
He wants to do anal with me, he's bought all this, anal lube and everything. But I'm still scared it will hurt and won't be pleasurable. I don't know what to do.. Because I'm up his for a week, and because I've had this implant thing in my arm all I really can do is have anal because I'm on heavy bleeding at the moment. Could someone give me any advice on what to do.. I'm quite scared.

xx

[sanjugibbs]

Everything that happens for the 1st time is unusual, so sometimes it really hurts especially when you don’t have any background on how to do it.

[Unregistered]

Ok, I have been doing a lot of research on the pleasures and disappointing stories on anal sex. My boyfriend and I are really curious. We watch movies all the time and justby watching these movies of the women doing anal turns me on! I want him to just flip me over and go for it, but I know its not that easy as him inserting himself in my vagina. My biggest concern is will he hurt me? I know about the douching and superlube before anything. But I still am kinda scared. Should I be worried?

[cantfoolthewise]

It seems to me the only people that get pleasure from anal sex is the top, the bottom only gets psyscological pleasure because in reality anal sex feels like you are contracting bowel movements. The top likes anal sex because it feels tight around his dick.Most of the nerve endings that sense pleasure are at the outside of your anus or within the first two inches. The rest of your rectum and colon do not have nerves that sense pleasure.

[Unregistered]

I disagree, I really enjoy being fucked. Im more of a submissive person though. I would rather give pleasure than receive it. To me being fucked doesn't feel like in pushing out bowel movements haha. I like to think of it as becoming one with my partner and its something that i hold as a beautiful thing between two males.

[Unregistered]

what household items can i fuckmyself with other than a vegetable i need to know as soon as possible

a rolling pin it hurts at first but its good makes me cum all the time i wish i can try a cock some times

[Unregistered]

Well i want tp try it out but im scared it is gonna hurt so much. i've tried to do it before but to scared of it hurting. So my question is will it hurt? and if it does will the pain go away while doing it? and im a girl

[Mr.Bisexual]

okay most ppl say dat sex hurts well it does at 1st ecspecially if your partner is rushing it when mine did that i felt like almost crying but afterwards it started to feel really good!!!!but if you dnt kno whar your doing then you can be in trouble but sex is sex but fingering yo self in da ass is kinda gross but whatever you do have fun

[cantfoolthewise]

Sex is all in mind, but let's face it the anus was not made for sex it was made for exit only. Excessive anal sex can expose you to anal cancer and anal incontinence.

[Curious]

I consider myself a straight male due to the fact that I don't find the male form attractive. I am curious as to what it would feel like to have a cock in my ass. I have tried a butt plug and it was a nice sensation which only made me want to try the real thing more but I just dont find men attractive, I think if I went with a guy I wouldn't be turned on enough to want it.

The worst part of it is I have a girlfriend who I love but she doesn't like the idea of a strapon so what can I do? I must do it before I die lol! I have thought about a transexual escort as in my mind this is just a woman who has a penis.

[Unregistered]

ryt i am gay and i am quite sure that someone in my school that i really like is gay 2. how do i find out or let him know without the risk of being wrong and it going wrong. I do not feel ready to come out yet.

[Unregistered]

hi, i am also about to try anal with a guy for the 1st time. I have read enough about first time pain etc but luckily its with a guy i trust and no will take it slow to start with but i also would like to kno what it feels like eg could someone describe it for me? is it the same sensation as wen u cum??? also is this any danger from swallowing cum or getting cum pumped into ur ass???

[Unregistered]

When I was in college I was really good friends with a guy who wanted to get penetrated too. We decided that the first time was to scary to contemplate so we figured we'd break ourselves in! The solution we found was to warm an empty heinekin bottle in a pan of water on the stove. When we felt it was at a nice level of warmth we lightly coated the entire neck of the bottle with vaseline. Pronto into to bed and on back, legs raised up. Rubbing warm wet bottle againt ass, letting it go in a very little at a time, week after week expanding limits, gently pushing in deeper. (the bottles neck was no more that 4 or 5 inches long but it's nearly the same width as a nice hard average sized penis. Taught my anal muscles to grasp on to the bottle neck, which felt really good. Then the test--My first was with a 30 year old bodybuilder(I was 20 )--yeah he was wild and rough, but he was 7 inches maybe and most of him slid in like he.d always been getting in there.