I am in deep pain

[pg_kl]

Currently I am seeing a guy whom I love him so much. But, I am not sure about him. Somehow, I think he does not love me as much as I do. He only uses the word 'like'.

To him, staying single and his option open are his life. I am not sure whether our relationship will go further although I pray hard everyday that one day he can be with me. If you ask me to give up and look for other guy, I cant do that. I think I am really in deep love with him.

Now, I am suffering from thinking about him every night and day. I could not get him out of my mind even when I am working. I had not enough rest because I could not sleep. I could not eat well and I lost weigh.

I like to seek comments from friends here. What can I do to less think about him. Or rather put less hope on this relationship. I am so scared that if I keep going on like this, I will go crazy one day.

For a poor soul like me, please offer your help to me. Thanks.

[Unregistered]

Just be honest and tell him you love him. Ask him if he feels the same? If he doesn't...then you have choices to make, but at least they'll be informed choices. It does sound like you're set for dissapointment with this guy if he's not responding to your feelings with anything other than "like". We can't make people love us...but we can control how long we stick around feeling torn with someone. Been there, done that :(
Best of luck.

[Unregistered]

It seems you already know the answer to your question.

Although it's nice to have someone to share your life with in a comitted relationship, we cannot control the feelings of others. All you can control is yourself. To be a slave to your emotions is not healthy and trying to hang on to something or someone is certainly not healthy either.

Most people have been through situations such as this and it's a hard pill to swallow, but, you need to move on if this person is not at or willing to work toward the same level of comittment you are currently at. The fear of being alone sometimes stunts and shuts down our ability to see things clearly. It is better to move on than to torture yourself hoping you can somehow make this person love you by changing who you are or constantly abridging what you say or trying to be someone else that you think he might love.

After all is said and done, you are who you are and he is who he is. We cannot make people be who we want them to be no matter how hard we try. remember that yes you have put your heart out there but nothing comes without a risk and some emotional pain is inevitable even in the best of relationships. This may be an opportunity for you to become a stronger person. It is also an opportunity to make yourself available for the man that IS right for you.

Best wishes!

[Oberon]

:D Though you love this guy, he is only saying like and wants to keep his options open. So in order to get your mind off of him, see about other people either in bars, clubs, stores, or on the net that you would be interested in. Talk to your friends and him about how you feel. Let him know that you love him and that you either want him to return the feelings or leave because you don't want to be strung along. The longer you allow this to be a you love and he likes situation the more unhappy and apparently crazy you'll become. Believe me in my life I've found it very good to have friends that I could be interested in if I didn't have this guy or that guy. It's nice to have a net in case you fall, you know what I mean?

[tiadesai]

if he agrees what you can both do is not marry but try to get into a live in relationship
those people who are not sure whether their marriage will last an will be able to adjust do a live in relationship
that way they can know each other better and also if they think they are not compatible they can go their own ways

[asianhunk25]

I do not understand why we love someone and expect to be loved in return? Although I totally do not understand it myself, I have learned to love and expected a little out of my relationships. I think true love is when you love someone unconditionally without any expectations. It is because when you expect less, you will be less disappointed. I remembered the Dalai Lama saying in one of his lectures that 'if we don't expect anything, we have everything.'

Cheer up buddy, because you love more and give more and you are trying to expect less. Enjoy that feeling of joy and loneliness because it is only through those that realize we are humans and we are frail but we love and it is what makes us special.

Be contented with the fact that he likes you and do not try to pull him into your own expectations of him or force him to commit, or bend him into your own perception of 'love' or life, because the more you do, the more he will distance himself and the more he will drift away.

Remember that the Giver always wins and the Taker always loses...