...after two years of agony, what are you..?

[spreadeagle]

G'day mate,

Two years is way too long to be mooning over this guy or agonizing over a relationship. No relationship lasts forever; some endure for years, some for only an evening. When you've given what you can and opened yourself to receiving what you can, then it's time to move on.

This doesn't mean that you have to cut all contact with an ex-lover, only that the relationship changes it's form. Right now you and your ex are just good friends, and there's nothing wrong with that. Except that you keep running tapes of bitterness and regret in your head. Take control, those thoughts don't just arise spontaneously, someone is thinking them.

If you find the meetings with him painful then it's foolish to agree to continue them. Take what you've learnt from the relationship and move forward.

Cheers
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[DaySleeper27]

2 years is forever if it was a relationship, it's just as much forever if it's getting over one..

I've been in my current relationship (with, we'll call him S) for 7 years now. I still am madly in love with the boyfriend before him (we'll call him M). S & I are both able to talk about my feelings openly. Which is why we've managed over the years to stay so close. We may not have the perfect relationship, but we have the one that works for us.

Closure is a very very nice thing to have. As it gives you the ability to function whenever you run into them on the street or at pridefest or whatever. It's something that lets us move on with our lives, and lets us know it's ok to continue to love that person but to accept that it's not going to mean we're able to date them or should ever date them again.

My storyline may be a little more twisted as M tested hiv+ a couple years ago. Which then made me realize that there was no way I could risk my life for somebody who treated me the way he did, which is why we're apart... For the better of our friendship rather than to ruine everything we had if we'd stayed together. It hurt forever, but sometimes you just know what's best for you, and have to stand by it even though our heart tells us not to sometimes.