I need help!

[metallicusmaximus]

Please, I need to come out to my family. PLEASE help me. I don't know how.

please email me at: metallicusmaximus@hotmail.com

Thank you. ! :p

[Unregistered]

I feel so contradicted. I'm desperate to tell my family and desperate to hide from telling them the same time. Because I know that my world will fall apart if I do tell. I feel as if there'd be nothing but chasms, everywhere, and no one , absolutely nobody to ask help from. I feel like walking in the Valley of the shadow of death. my own valley. but if God's with me. the why am I still in the Valley.

[spreadeagle]

You write as if you have a belief in God, yet you say you have no-one you can ask for help. What sort of God is he who is unavailable in your hour of need? You quote the 23rd psalm yet you ignore its promise - "Thou art with me and thy rod and staff me comfort still".

From this I conclude that you have been raised in a religious household where homosexuality is forbidden. Your sexuality is not your fault. The causes of homosexuality are genetic or environmental or a combination of both. If genetic, then the responsibility lies with your parents who carry the gene. If environmental then the responsibility also lies with your parents who were charged with your welfare, care and development.

Fundamentalist Christians might argue that homosexuality, indeed any sexuality, is the spiritual burden we have to bear in order to refine our souls. That seems to be the message of the Garden of Eden myth. But experience and observation suggest that any attempts to repress God-given basic instincts, such as sexual orientation, are doomed to failure and create misery and wrecked lives for all concerned.

If you can't bring yourself to jettison your relationship with God, then there are many gay Christian groups accesible through the web who may be able to lead you to an understanding of a loving God who can accomodate Nature in all its manifestations.

You say your world will fall apart. But is it YOUR world or a worldview that others have imposed on you? Surely it can't be YOUR world if you feel it has no place for you. Undoubtedly your world will change, but there can be no growth or development without change. Anything that resists change is doomed. That's why the world that others have created for you feels like the Valley of Death - that's not your path. It's time to choose.

Love
Spread

[Unregistered]

spreadeagle, will you ever get a life?

[spreadeagle]

Probably not.

Unless you consider two kids; two jobs; writing and painting; studying literature and Spanish; telephone counselling and an active involvement in a men's group to be some sort of a life.

How about you?

Happy New Year
Spread

[Unregistered]

spreadeagle, will you ever get a life?

That's an exceptionally discourteous remark. Spreadeagle's comments are always well-written and interesting and, I am sure, helpful to those affected by the issue(s) under discussion. Don't be so rude please.

A reader in Scotland

[Unregistered]

You need a life too