spreadeagle
October 22nd, 2004, 01:36 AM
Hey Buddy,
This is always a tricky problem. My instinct (based on my assumption that English is not your first language) is that the you face two main challenges: cultural and immigration.
In order to avoid despair you should be prepared, from the outset, for the possibility that you may have to live your life in your home country. There are other gay people there and you'll find each other. You may have to live quietly and discreetly (it’s important that you keep yourself safe) and you may not choose to be a revolutionary. But you can begin in a small way to effect change. Firstly, resist family pressure to marry and have children. If you find the courage to explain to your parents that you are gay then you will be helping to break down traditional discriminatory attitudes. If you are forced to marry than try and find a wife who is lesbian. Secondly, use your vote and your voice, to help steer your culture in the direction you would like to see it go. Thirdly, investigate gay history and gay oppression in your country and keep yourself informed of gay culture and progress in the rest of the world.
If immigration is a possibility then the likelihood of achieving your aspirations is increased. Form a five-year and a ten-year plan. Find out all you can about regulations governing emigration from your country. Look through your own family to see if you have ancestors or relations born or living in other countries. Attain the highest educational level you can. Investigate which other countries have a ‘working holiday’ or ‘student visa’ arrangement with your country. You will need money. Try and find work in an area such as tourism, import-export, entertainment etc, where contact with (and travel to) other countries is an accepted part of the job. Maintain contact with gaymen in other countries so that you begin to build up a network of relationships. If possible, invite others to visit you in your country or go on overseas holidays. As civil unions become increasingly recognised in the West, so the possibility of a long-standing relationship with a same-sex partner being grounds for granting permanent residency increases.
Above all, engage as fully as you can in all areas of your life. Your happiness is NOT entirely dependent on finding ‘a handsome gay life partner’. But if you believe it is and then fail to achieve it you’ll make yourself miserable.
All my love
Spread
This is always a tricky problem. My instinct (based on my assumption that English is not your first language) is that the you face two main challenges: cultural and immigration.
In order to avoid despair you should be prepared, from the outset, for the possibility that you may have to live your life in your home country. There are other gay people there and you'll find each other. You may have to live quietly and discreetly (it’s important that you keep yourself safe) and you may not choose to be a revolutionary. But you can begin in a small way to effect change. Firstly, resist family pressure to marry and have children. If you find the courage to explain to your parents that you are gay then you will be helping to break down traditional discriminatory attitudes. If you are forced to marry than try and find a wife who is lesbian. Secondly, use your vote and your voice, to help steer your culture in the direction you would like to see it go. Thirdly, investigate gay history and gay oppression in your country and keep yourself informed of gay culture and progress in the rest of the world.
If immigration is a possibility then the likelihood of achieving your aspirations is increased. Form a five-year and a ten-year plan. Find out all you can about regulations governing emigration from your country. Look through your own family to see if you have ancestors or relations born or living in other countries. Attain the highest educational level you can. Investigate which other countries have a ‘working holiday’ or ‘student visa’ arrangement with your country. You will need money. Try and find work in an area such as tourism, import-export, entertainment etc, where contact with (and travel to) other countries is an accepted part of the job. Maintain contact with gaymen in other countries so that you begin to build up a network of relationships. If possible, invite others to visit you in your country or go on overseas holidays. As civil unions become increasingly recognised in the West, so the possibility of a long-standing relationship with a same-sex partner being grounds for granting permanent residency increases.
Above all, engage as fully as you can in all areas of your life. Your happiness is NOT entirely dependent on finding ‘a handsome gay life partner’. But if you believe it is and then fail to achieve it you’ll make yourself miserable.
All my love
Spread