spreadeagle
October 4th, 2004, 04:45 AM
G'day mate,
Did you stop believing you had a future with your partner before or after you fell in love with this new guy? If you'd already sensed that your existing relationship was going nowhere, then you need to address this by discussing it with him. There is no rule that says you've failed if a relationship doesn’t last forever; each relationship has a different ‘sell-by’ date. It’s better to be honest and open so that you can retain the friendship with your partner even if you stop being lovers.
However, if you only started having doubts about your future with your partner after meeting the new guy then you need to be careful. Although being in love feels fantastic there’s no guarantee that the new guy would ever be able to provide the same steady friendship and support that you have enjoyed for the last six years. You haven't said whether he's in love with you too, or not. Being ‘in love’ doesn’t last forever – the average is between six and nine months. You would be wise to consider what the new guy might be able to offer you in the way of a relationship after the ‘in-love’ feelings have worn off and compare that with your current relationship.
By the way, contrary to Max’s implication it’s quite possible to live a perfectly happy and fulfilling life without being in a one-on-one relationship at all!
Cheers buddy
Spread
Did you stop believing you had a future with your partner before or after you fell in love with this new guy? If you'd already sensed that your existing relationship was going nowhere, then you need to address this by discussing it with him. There is no rule that says you've failed if a relationship doesn’t last forever; each relationship has a different ‘sell-by’ date. It’s better to be honest and open so that you can retain the friendship with your partner even if you stop being lovers.
However, if you only started having doubts about your future with your partner after meeting the new guy then you need to be careful. Although being in love feels fantastic there’s no guarantee that the new guy would ever be able to provide the same steady friendship and support that you have enjoyed for the last six years. You haven't said whether he's in love with you too, or not. Being ‘in love’ doesn’t last forever – the average is between six and nine months. You would be wise to consider what the new guy might be able to offer you in the way of a relationship after the ‘in-love’ feelings have worn off and compare that with your current relationship.
By the way, contrary to Max’s implication it’s quite possible to live a perfectly happy and fulfilling life without being in a one-on-one relationship at all!
Cheers buddy
Spread