What Does Pride Mean To You?
By Josh Aterovis

Every June, the debate begins: Is Gay Pride still important? Do we need the parades and festivals? Is a month to celebrate homosexuality really necessary? Many claim that these public displays of all things gay do more harm than good. Yet, in these times of widespread, government-sanctioned homophobia, pride events are more popular than ever. What gives?

The simple answer may be that pride is empowering. Many gays and lesbians feel isolated in a heterosexual world, but pride events remind them that they are far from alone. Being surrounded by thousands of other people like them is an affirming feeling.

The answer really isn't that simple, though. The truth is pride means different things to different people. Pride doesn't last for only one month a year, and it isn't always about waving a rainbow flag. With this in mind, I decided to interview four young, openly gay men. The conversations were informal and far from scientific, but I discovered some interesting similarities in their answers.

Ley came out between the ages of 13 and 14, Brandon at 14, Matt at 15, and Jonathan at 17. All four boys reported that they'd always just known they were gay from their earliest memories. "I figured something was different around fifth grade," Ley explained, "but didn't put a word to it until sixth or seventh grade, and didn't accept that it really applied to me until eighth grade."

Their experiences are far from unique. According to Caitlin Ryan, director of adolescent health initiatives at San Francisco State University, who is conducting a long-term study of gay, lesbian, and bisexual youths and their families, the average age for coming out is dropping at a rapid rate. For many years, most gay men came out between the ages of 19 and 23. Some studies report that age has dropped to 14, and it's getting younger all the time.

A recent Time Magazine article offered more insight. Forty years ago, most gay males said they knew they were gay at age 14. Male teens today say they've known since they were at least 10 years old.

What brought about this drastic drop? Experts disagree on the details, but most agree it's a result of increased exposure. Kids are aware of what it means to be gay much earlier today than in the past. That means, as Ley described, they are able to put a name to their feelings of being different at younger ages.

Matt said he had labeled himself "gay" by the time he was 10. Still, even in his case where he had no qualms about being gay, it took him five years to come out. Why the delay?
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