Don't Our Families Have Value?
Page 2 of 3

Recently, Jon and I were at a casual gathering at friend's house. Several of us had been sitting around talking for a couple hours when the subject of relationships came up.

One of our friends and her boyfriend have been together for about a year, and they're getting pretty serious. They've started talking about marriage, buying a house together, and starting a family. She admitted that she was scared to death. When I asked her why, she said she doesn't know if she believes modern marriages can succeed, that she had no role models growing up to learn what makes a successful relationship. As we talked, I realized that I was the only person present whose parents were still together (they'll be celebrating 50 years in May).

Then she dropped the bomb. She turned to me and said, "You know, you and Jon are kind of my relationship role models."

I was stunned, but our other friends quickly agreed. "You guys give me hope that I can find the same thing some day," another friend added.

They proceeded to start asking questions about how we knew and how we managed to make it work. As we talked, it got me thinking. How ironic that a gay couple would be the relationship role model for a straight couple when we can't even get married. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that most of the healthiest, happiest couples I know are queer.

There's my cousin Jae and her partner Jeanne, who've been together for ten years this summer. They have two beautiful daughters and one foster son. They've recently finished updating all the legal paperwork necessary to protect their family in the event of the death of one of them. Most of it wouldn't be necessary if the government valued their family as much as the straight family next door.
Continue to page 3>>>

Page 2 of 3