Battle of the Sexes
By Josh Aterovis

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. We've all heard this little gem, implying that men and women are just inherently different, and that difference extends beyond mere plumbing. It's almost like we're from different planets. Gay men have often bridged that gap to form close relationships with straight women, but that gulf still tends to exist between gay men and lesbians.

Why is that? Why can't we all just get along?

I think it was worse in past generations. The women had their hangouts and organizations, the men had theirs, and rarely did the twain meet. I do see improvements, especially in the younger generations, but I still see separation as well. That division bothers me.

Rehoboth Beach, Delaware is a gay-friendly beach resort not far from where Jon and I live. We go there quite often, especially during the summer. The last few times we've gone to bars there, though, I couldn't help but notice they targeted very specific groups. We went to see a good friend's band, Red Letter Day, play at the Frogg Pond a couple months ago. The Frogg Pond tends to be somewhat of a mixed crowd, but it's known as a lesbian bar and that was the primary clientele. Our last trip to Rehoboth, we went to see a friend perform in a drag pageant at Cloud 9. We saw a lot more dresses there, but they were all on men. The boys far outnumbered the few women present.

Lesbians have been a big part of our life. In fact, we've always had more lesbian friends than gay male friends. I even wrote a tongue-in-cheek column once about why lesbians make better friends than gay men. That's why it bothers me that there are few places we can go as a group and none of us feel at least a little out of place.

These days, our circle of friends tends to be very diverse. As I was looking at pictures from our New Year's Eve party, it really struck me what a varied bunch we are. We had gay men, lesbians, and straight people; couples and singletons; young and old -- all mixing and mingling and having a ball. Jon and I value this diversity; each and every person brings something unique to our lives. I can't imagine it any other way.
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