Relapse, Recovery, and Loneliness...
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I asked if he had any idea as to why he slipped. He responded, "I was bored. I have nothing to do, no boyfriend, no crowd. I was lonely and took a drink. Then I did coke. Then I smoked Tina."

I asked where he detoxed. He said at home. I asked how that was possible, knowing of the severity of his first detox. He said, "I'll be fine. I'm just very light sensitive and have a constant headache."

I found myself getting upset. I changed the subject and told him I would always be sending well wishes to him.

Truth be told, I am wondering how much of a chance he stands. His roommate also relapsed. So he has to deal with a using addict being right in front of him.

"I love my apartment too much to leave and go to a sober living facility" was his response to my suggestion.

It has been said, that about 85% of crystal meth users, aka tweakers, relapse the first try at sobriety. Sadly I have witnessed this first hand, all too often.

What can I do to help P? Nothing. P needs to want to help himself. All I can do is send good thoughts and mind my own business.

I used to feel guilt at this type of thinking, because I thought if you love someone you must help them. In my experience, the only person that can help an addict is the addict himself.

Does this mean I turn my back on my addicted friends, family and community. No. It means all I can do is to present information. Hopefully in a way that is not judgmental, not moralizing, and simply put, just to inform.

I am glad I am not saddled with the disease of addiction. I am saddened that many people I know and love have been burdened with this disease.

Let's hope they find their way. P is just another example of a life grasped by crystal meth. When someone asks why demonize a drug, I shrug. It seems easier to hold this drug accountable more so than our loved ones.

For now, all I can do is hope P finds his way. No judgment. No anger. No preaching.

As for this article, take what you like and leave the rest.

Nuff said. Time Out.

© 2005 Jimmy Palmieri, All Rights Reserved. Article provided by GayLinkContent.com