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By Max
Salazar

3 years ago I was diagnosed with Hep
B (I had no symptoms until massive swelling began). After an initial
doctors visit and a referral to a gastroenterologist I found that I had
end stage liver disease. I was evaluated and placed on the transplant
list at Vanderbilt University Hospital (Nashville, TN). After my med
regime was regulated I have maintained the same status of health with
the Hep B being barely detectable and my liver having no further damage
done to it. So, the Hp B was controlled. However, with the symptoms of
liver disease coupled with the side effects of many of my meds, I am now
not the man I was. I lost all muscle mass (atrophy) in my arms and legs
and torso, I have put on 50-60 pounds (due to being inactive and the
fact that some gain weight, while others lose weight). I am single and
still have desire to have a companion, but, I am also left with a very
low libido, and erectile dysfunction due to the disease and meds. I
haven't lost the mental need but I can't offer the physical needs that
most men want. Would you say that I am stuck with this and I should just
give up until after I have the transplant (that could be anywhere from 2-8
years, depending on my declining health) OR can you help me come up with a
way to meet a man that wants romance, likes oral stimulation, and isn't
afraid of the word disability and what it implies (I am only bringing in
social security benefit checks...very little money per month). Can you
give me some advice Max? I have been honest with guys and they go running.
I have withheld info but then it comes time for more intimacy and I have
to tell them I can't deliver the way they want. What should I do Max?
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Honesty is always the best way to go.
I congratulate you for being strong and for taking time to ask for
help. It is very
hard to find someone to love no matter how your health is. But I
believe there is always someone for everyone. How to find that
special person? just put yourself out there. Exposure is the key.
Don't just stay home feeling sorry for yourself.
BGay.com offers a lot of ways to meet people. You can go to the chat
rooms, you can place personal ads. Get really involved in the
gay community. You can also go to support groups in your
town. Help is everywhere. So take advantage of every
support group in your town and meet people. No matter
how sexy you are or how healthy you are. Some guys will run, some
will like you, some will stay. We all have to go through that
and you are not the exception. So be yourself, be strong and
most of all...be persistent. That special person who will love
you the way you are is just around the corner. Good luck!
Hep B support Group in Tennessee:
The Nashville Hep Support group is currently
forming. For more information, contact Jim Nevels at (502)886-2754
or email: vgnevels@hop-uky.campus.mci.net
More support groups:
SUPPORT GROUPS
Helping people in the same situation as you are
may be the best way to realize you are not the only one suffering.
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Today
in Dear Max:
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