Dear Max, I've just turned 19, moved out of home and am off to college with my best friend through High School. I've struggled over the years and have finally decided that I am in fact gay, possibly slightly bi, though I've only come out to one person. I find myself very attracted to my friend, whom I have high suspicions of being gay, and I would like nothing more than to hold a relationship with him. Since this is not the friend which I came out to, he has no idea that I am gay, and I get so nervous I dry heave when I feel I am close to coming out to him. I know that there is no 100% sure way of telling if someone is gay unless they tell you, but I was wondering if you could help me out. You see, since me and my friend have been living together, we've only actually slept in our own rooms twice, instead, we "accidentally" fall asleep on the pull out couch in the living room that was "coincidently" pulled out while watching a movie. At night we have some encounters, where I will find him lying up with his back against my stomach or vice versa, and on several occasions have found his face an inch or two from my own. One of these things, or others, such as him draping his arm over me, happens every night. I feel that this is a sure sign that he is gay, if not EXTREMELY secure. However I still have no courage to ask him if he is gay, or tell him I am. I would just like advice from the more experienced gay community on what they feel. Thank you.

 

Well, if he is not gay... he is the perfect roommate!  Obviously, straight guys DO NOT do that.  You can do two things:  1) Enjoy it and see where it goes by slowly touching him more and more  or  2) You can take him to a gay bar to have a drink to see how he reacts  as well as telling him that you are gay. But be ready because he may get defensive you may lose all the privileges.   The only problem I have is that you may develop feelings for him that he may not be able to reciprocate, leaving you with a big heart ache.