I have a very close group of friends. We get together at least three times a month, wherein one of us hosts a dinner or party. We usually end up with more people than just the group of us, to deal with. the thing is, I have met an acquaintance, who is the boyfriend of one of my friends from our group. I really don't know him that well, but I don't care for him at all. Reason being, he always has a comment about everything. For instance, if one of us are having troubles in our relationship, he always gives his opinion and goes on and on with useless psychobabble, that leaves everyone at lost for words. Or if one of us are deciding on changing careers, there he goes, off on another voyage of excessive talk. You know, a real mood killer. We all have tried talking to our friend about his boyfriend, but has not helped the situation. He just shrugs it off, jokingly saying "he just loves to talk", or "he even talks while we are having sex". It got so bad that I came right out and told the guy to just be quiet because his conversation wasn't appreciated. Which only went into another over- analyzed conversation that made several people get up and leave. We have gone so far as to not include our friend in some of our recent gatherings. And that is my problem. When my friend questioned me why no one had not told him about our plans, I flat out told him it was because of his boyfriend. I feel bad about not including my friend because of this guy. I know I can't choose anyone's mate. And far be for me to try to, but I am at the point of disassociating myself all together from my friend because I just can't stand his boyfriend. Do you think I am wrong for wanting to give up a friend for peace, or am I just over-reacting?

 

Friendships are very hard to keep specially when someone has a boyfriend.  Friends take time and boyfriends take time too.   Usually, real friends have to be patient and very understanding.  When a friend has a boyfriend who is very unpleasant, it makes it very tuff for everyone involved.   Your friend is your friend and his boyfriend is someone you just have to accept.  You don't have to like him at all. Accept him the way he is just because you love your friend.   NEVER talk bad about  his boyfriend even if he is always saying bad things about him. You have to remain quite and say nothing.  It is like talking about your mother. I can talk bad about my mother, but I will kick your butt if you say anything about her. Same goes for boyfriends.  It is okay to distant yourself and not include your friend because of his boyfriend. But if you don't accept his boyfriend, sooner or later you may loose your friend or at least until he breaks up with him.  Good luck!