I have been dating a good friend for a little over three months. And I really like him a lot. We have a lot in common, and things are going along smoothly. All except for the fact that we haven't gone all the way yet. Sure we have gotten close a few times, but every time I am ready to take it to the next level, he always pulls back. Neither of us are virgins, but he's wanting more than just a one night stand. Being in a monogamous relationship is not something I am afraid of, in fact, I want that. I want that with him. I just can't get it across to him that he is the one I want to be with. He had a very bad break up with his ex. He was totally dependant on the guy, and he really took advantage of him, not only monetarily, but he was abused severely. While I, on the other hand, was what you might call a player, the hit and run kind of guy who just wanted good times with no strings. Now all of that has changed. I have gain an outlook for what I want out of life, and now think I have begun to fall in love with him. I know he needs some time to gain a perspective of what has happened to him, and I am willing to be there for him, But I just want him to know how much I do care for him. I was his friend before I began having feelings for him, and don't want to loose that part of whatever is going on between us. I believe intimacy between two people is a special thing, and I only want to share that with him. I do have one fear about all of this though. I have never been in a real relationship before, and I do have a few concerns about getting hurt myself. I don't want to pay for what some other guy did to him. How can I assure him that I am ready for a commitment with him, and want more than just a brief encounter for a evening? I know time can heal all wounds, so I guess I should give him more time. Do you think I should just settle for being just friends? I can accept that, but I would like more.

 

There are no guarantees in life. You will never know what will happen until you try it.  The sad part is that sometimes when you try it, you can be disappointed and not want it any more.  So what to do?  Let things develop and be patient. Relationships are fun if you have found the right person for you, but could be hell if it is the wrong person.   There is nothing you can say to him that will assure him you will not hurt him.  All you can do is show him with your actions that you are there to love him not hurt him. Remember, actions speak louder than words.