When does roughhousing become abuse? My boyfriend of 1 year 2 months and I have always wrestled around and stuff. Were very energetic guys. But in the last few months, its not that fun. He hits me hard and leaves bruises. Sometimes if we argue he starts to wrestle with me, but he's not careful and he leaves marks. He has slapped me a few times and just said he was "playing". I tell him to cool it, but he just calls me a pussy and I should "suck it up."  I just want to know, without worrying my friends and family, if this could lead to something more violent. He says its no one else's business and tells me not to talk about it. He's always been a bit controlling, but he says its because he loves me. Should I be worried? I do love him very much. I'm afraid that I'm jumping the gun. What do you think?

 

Of course you should worry. You know there's something wrong but you are afraid to listen to your gut feeling. Any physical game becomes abuse when you get hurt.  It does not have to be big. Once you know it is not fun and it kind of hurts, then you know he crossed the line.  Don't be afraid to talk to him and tell him how you feel. And when he crosses the line, tell him right away it is not acceptable for him to do so. It could definitely lead to something more violent.  Watch the news and see how many husbands have killed their wives because they "LOVE" them.  I am not saying he will do that, but anytime anybody crosses the line, you should worry.  Please seek professional advise or even contact someone expert in spousal abuse. Good luck! http://canada.justice.gc.ca/en/ps/fm/spouseafs.html#whatis