Ex-NFL Player Talks About Being Gay

MIAMI, FL -- Former Jacksonville Jaguar Esera Tuaolo had a successful nine-year career as a lineman in the NFL, battling some of the best offensive linemen in the World. However, his biggest battle of all was about hiding his own sexuality. Now he's telling it all in his new book: Alone in the Trenches: My Life As a Gay Man in the NFL.

"If I would have came out while I was still playing, I thought I would've lost my job because of the team chemistry and how society doesn't really accept gay men," Tuaolo said.

In his new book Tuaolo writes about everything from being sexually molested by his uncle as a small child to loosing his gay brother to AIDS. He also describes how he used to try to avoid looking at the camera or the crowd when singing the National Anthem at televised football games. He was always afraid that some of the guys he had slept with would recognize him and out him.

Tuaolo realized he was gay at a young age. "I took the child within me and I threw him in the closet. I started living a double life. I had to be bigger and stronger and faster, so that nobody would know that Esera Tuaolo was gay," Tuaolo said.

For Tuaolo writing about his life was like therapy, helping him realize just how important family was to him and how much he loved his partner and his two children. His family was also what gave him the courage and strength to come out publicly.

"When you have children, parents should know -- whether gay or straight -- it's not about you anymore, it's about your kids and creating a world for them," Tuaolo said.