Idol Straightens Up

American Idol brings an almost subversively queer tone to prime-time TV, with viewers speculating about which of the contestants might be gay (the current season offers no shortage of candidates) to wondering when Ryan and Simon will stop bickering and just kiss already.

But now that an Idol-esque program is airing in China, there are significant changes afoot.

In a mandate that might as well read "Quit flouncing it up, Mary," the State Administration of Radio, Film, and Television demanded that the show Happy Boys Voice (an all-male follow-up to Super Girls Voice) include "no weirdness, no vulgarity, no low taste," and no shots of either screaming fans or teary-eyed losing contestants.

Oh, and the judges are prohibited "from mocking or humiliating contestants."

Can we at least send them Paula Abdul to lighten things up?