Coming Out: Healing the Family
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A few weeks after we'd moved in, Jon's mom came down for the weekend just to see what progress we'd made. That Saturday, my parents came over because my dad was planning to help us with some minor plumbing problems. As these things have a tendency to do, the small project turned into an entire day spent under the sink. While Jon, my father, and I spent the afternoon between the kitchen and the hardware store, our moms bonded while watching a home-improvement marathon on HGTV.

Later that evening, the sink fixed, Jon and I cooked dinner for our parents. As we all sat around the table eating and laughing, it suddenly hit me that our families were healed. I had to fight back tears as I looked around. I never would have expected to see the scene before me. It wasn't because of anything in particular that we did. We didn't force-feed them any scientific studies or drag them to PFLAG meetings. That may have worked for other families, but what worked for ours was simply living our lives openly and honestly. They couldn't help but see our love for one another and realize that there was nothing dirty or wrong about it. Maybe it took a while, but the wounds did heal.

This past week I was talking to my mom about Thanksgiving plans. It's an annual tradition for my very large family to gather together for a huge, home-cooked meal. The past two years, Jon and I have spent Thanksgiving with his mom and brother since they don't have a large family to share it with. Last time, though, I promised my family we'd spend the holiday with them this year. When Mom told me no plans had been made yet, I found myself impulsively offering to host the family dinner at our house. It made sense, since we have more space than any of my other siblings that live locally. It wasn't until after I hung up that I wondered just what I'd gotten myself into. Between my three brother and two sisters, I have nineteen nieces and nephews -- and white living room furniture.

After I broke the news to Jon and he calmed me down, we decided it would be a good thing. We also decided to invite his mom and brother, too. We don't yet know if they will come, but if they do, it will be the first time both of our families have been together. I know it will be an emotional and perhaps somewhat awkward time, but I'm looking forward to it. It will be the next step in healing our family.

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