Coming Out: Healing the Family
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That first night was decidedly awkward, and it stayed that way for a while. I refused to attend any family function to which Jon wasn't welcome, so there were many more uncomfortable moments. For a while, the only people who would even speak to Jon at get-togethers were my parents and my younger sister. We didn't give up, though, and gradually, more of my siblings began to come around. It was a slow process, and I'm still not as close to most of my brothers as I once was, but we've come a long way. My parents have been especially accepting as they've come to know and love Jon.

Jon's family, while similar in some aspects, was a different situation. Jon was raised as a Reformed Jew. He grew up attending a shul with gay and lesbian Rabbis. He had every reason to expect his family to be accepting, and his younger brother was from the very beginning. When Jon came out to him, his initial reaction was simply, "Okay. Cool." Jon's mother, on the other hand, had a harder time with the news. Her first reaction was to rather hysterically blame the fall of Greece and Rome on homosexuality. She refused to have anything to do with me, and was furious at Jon for hiding this from her.

Once again, there was no sudden change of heart, but rather a gradual acceptance. She lives farther away than my parents, so we saw her less often, but when we did see her, we were almost always together -- for Jon's or her birthday, when Jon graduated from college, etc. I did a painting for her of her cat, who she dearly loved. Over time, she began to ask how I was when they talked on the phone. When Jon and I decided we wanted to buy a home, she, being a real estate agent, wanted to be involved. She traveled back and forth several times as we looked at homes and found one we loved. She stayed with us at our old house and we spent more time together. The weekend we closed on the house and moved in, I spent more time alone with Jon's mom than I did with Jon. We actually had a chance to bond.
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